Define a Relationship

Picture this; you see a very stunning specimen of the opposite sex standing across the room. You are thinking to yourself, “I want to talk to them, how do I get their attention? They are so hot…” you may be thinking many things while staring them down. Well, let’s skip ahead and just say after a night of your greatest efforts you end up going home with their phone number, feeling quite pleased with yourself. After many dates you wander where this is going to go, you wander what the other person wants out of this. Well, let’s examine different aspects of a relationship. Let’s figure out what it takes to have a good one. What does it mean to be in a relationship? What does a good relationship need in order to work, in order to last?

Looks are an obvious must. Some of us may say that we don’t care about looks, or it’s not the first thing on our minds, but let’s face it. In some way shape or form you need a physical attraction to the person you’re with. The next thing that must be there is some degree of attraction to their personality. Whether it be, they make you laugh, they have a mean streak that’s attractive to you…whatever it is, what kind of person they are, and the conversations that take place are important. Next, you have to care about them. When they are upset, you want to comfort them, when they are mad, you want to make them feel better, if they got hurt, you would be worried about them. Any kind of emotional reaction to their actions or state of mind can be defined as care. All of these things can contribute to a long, healthy relationship, as long as the feelings are mutual.

But, now, let’s talk about the idea of love as it is portrayed in things like stories and movies…maybe even real life sometimes. Surely everyone has heard of “the spark.”

The idea of love at first sight; the moment you see someone, you want nothing more than to be with them and no one else. You know you are meant to be and they are the person that will complete you and make you happy. But, is having this feeling a necessity in a relationship? Is it a necessity when you are deciding whether or not you want to stay with someone, even marry them? For those of us who have experienced this feeling, it’s great. It can make you feel wealthy for what you have and that you are on top of the world. But, is it necessary?

If you are sexually attracted to your significant other, you get along fantastically, and you care for each other. Is there any reason that a wonderful, healthy relationship can’t be built on those things? The butterflies you get when you see someone are magical. But, is not having them, a smart reason to push someone aside and search for someone else until you get that flutter in your tummy?

If you’re one of those who thinks that “love at first sight” is the only way you will even begin to start something serious, ask yourself, is that what’s important when deciding to be with someone?

I have been there and done that. I was with a man that I cared about more than anything in the world. He was very attractive and his personality rocked. He told me he was physically attracted to me, we got along perfectly and he said numerous times that he cared about me. But, he chose to break it off just because he didn’t feel those butterflies when he was with me. It hurt so badly because it seemed, when looked at from a realistic point of view that we had everything needed to have a healthy relationship, and yet he didn’t want to try because that feeling was so important to him.

So, what does it take for a great relationship? Logic would tell us that all the things I’ve listed above are needed. But are you one of those people who would move right along if it wasn’t love at first sight?