Defined By Our Relationships
by A great deal of time is spent “defining” people by putting us into categories such as racial, gender, age, political, religious, etc. Others use our possessions like the cars we drive or the homes we live in. I suggest that if we are going to judge others, let’s use some measurements that matter.
I’ve explored some areas that most of us can relate to on some level.
Family & Friends
Within this group of people we might assume roles such as provider, disciplinarian or maybe household domestic. Whether you are living with family or choose to surround yourself with friends consider yourself “relative”, to the others in this circle.
Friends are simply the extended family that knows lots and lots about you AND still loves/likes you anyway! Maybe it’s a girlfriend you call when your boyfriend is a jerk or the guy you call when you feel like going out and drinking up a storm. (Remember, he needs to drink soda on this night or you better make arrangements for a cab home ahead of time.)
Friend and family are generally your greatest supporters and critics throughout your life. Surround yourself with family and friends who will stay true to you through good times and bad. Just remember, return the favor.
Work
In the work environment there is often a pecking order that resembles an organizational chart. Keep in mind that not all relationships at work follow these formalities, but rather a more interwoven dynamic exists. Join forces with influential people within the workplace, find or be a mentor, become known as an expert in something that is invaluable to the company’s success.
A word of warning from a legal standpoint, make sure that work relationships follow social mores. Lawsuits are all too common and all too ugly.
Community
Many people choose to draw straight lines from home to work to the store and back again, choosing not to engage others in social or civic opportunities. As long as they don’t cause trouble along the way you’re your socially sequestered neighbors may go unnoticed to everyone but the tax collectors. On the other hand, many people feel that it is a pleasure or their duty to participate in their communities, to give back and/or to receive the maximum benefit from their local area.
How we choose to interact within society helps to define as such things as volunteer, organizer, leader, supporter, etc. Just recognize that in order for a community to offer the a plethora of activities and opportunities to its members, there needs to resources available. These come in various forms: funding, materials, structure and manpower. Do your part.
Possessions
Yes, even our possessions can shape who we are, but I suggest that you not let it define you. For your own sake, do not live beyond your means and consider what your material things actually give you in return. Put others first when you can or at least hold them in higher regard then the latest surround sound system you installed in your den.
Remember, the warm and fuzzy feelings that last generally come from other warm and fuzzy people.
Spiritual
Try to figure out where you stand on the basis of faith. Consider that unlike genetic features that are inherited, your spiritual journey should be one that you investigate and determine to be the best fit for you. Try and relate to events that happen and ask yourself: Why did this happen? Was it done to me? Am I in control of my destiny? Are things just fate?
Environment
We should all know our place. Recognizing our significance on this planet and having the respect for that which supports life is most essential to having anything or anyone else to relate to. If there is something that can be done, decide if you are doing it and if it’s enough. If not, what are the consequences to all of the aforementioned relationships.
Remember, in the end, it’s all relative.
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