Delusions of Adequacy or Inadequacy Can Ruin a Marriage

Imagine the following scene, “Just married, this couple was in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they undressed for bed, the husband, who was a big burly man, tossed his pants to his bride and said, “Here put these on.” She put them on, and the waist was twice the size of her body. “I can’t wear your pants,” she said. “That’s right!!” said the husband, “and don’t you forget it! I’m the man who wears the pants in this family!” With that she flipped him her panties and said, “Try these on.” He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. He said, “Hell, I can’t get into your panties!” She said, “That’s right, and that’s the way it’s going to be until you change your attitude.”

Relationships, perhaps more than any other facet of our lives, define who we are and what we value. Going into relationships we face a lot of obstacles.  So many of us go in with the attitude that anything you can do I can do better. Our ego far outweighs our sense. Family ties, love relationships and friendships all play a huge role in our overall happiness factor. Most of us want world peace but before we can have world peace, we’ve got to get a handle on what it takes to maintain healthy peaceful relationships.  So it stands to reason that healthy relationships, establishing them and maintaining them, should rank high on our list of priorities. Coupling can also provide immense joy and personal satisfaction. Like everything good in life, a good relationship takes time,effort and commitment. Building healthy relationships isn’t easy for anyone. Knowing some basic tips for healthy relationships not only provides a basis for strong relationships now, but sets the stage for future relationships as well. I’ve heard it said we learned everything we need to know in kindergarten to get along in the world peacefully. We learned to share our cookies. We learned to not hit others or they might hit us back. We learned to play fair. Yes, we learned to treat others like we’d want to be treated ourselves. We learned to play tag, hide-n-seek and to sit quietly when an adult is speaking. We learned to like ourselves and others. We learned to keep control over our emotions; we learned to the bathroom before it is too late. We learned cookies and milk go terrific together. If only adults played together as well as children, we would have world peace.