Delusions of Adequacy or Inadequacy Can Ruin a Marriage

The latest marital breakups all over the news include Celebrities, Sandra Bullock and her husband, Jesse; and then there is Tiger and his wife, Erin.  Jesse and Tiger are good men, good husbands and wonderful providers. They hid their infidelities for so long; so I guess they knew they were doing wrong just couldn’t or wouldn’t stop seeing other women. They were considered good husbands; heroes, in fact, strong, macho and faithful. The problem remains not many of us have learned to sacrifice our desires for the happiness of our families. Tiger and Jesse seemed to have delusions of superior adequacy and their wives, I’m sure, have fed their delusions by trusting them implicitly.  It is sad no one today can be trusted implicitly. I agree with Judge Judy when it comes to relationships, if something doesn’t make sense, it probably isn’t true.

As we got older, we forget to show generosity of spirit like children so naturally do. We also forget how to play well with others.  When children play house their seldom play “divorce.” We all wonder in romance novels if the heroine and hero will end up happily married? Of course, even when the ending is unhappy, the value of love triumphs as in the movie, Bridges of Madison County. Unfortunately, not many of us end up with our soulmates. It is always good to end up partnering with a friend. When our marriages end, we have to be careful to not repeat our past mistakes and make sure our children do not blame themselves for our inadequacies. We should maintain a good, lasting relationship for the sake of ourselves and our kids. It takes two to value their partnership. It takes two to make a good marriage into a profitable relationship. It takes two to squander love.

Check out the following article on making yourself a better you, which will undoubtedly make yourself a better, more loving, generous and a better partner in all your relationships: 

To the question ”Are you happy?”…up to 99% Of People Would Say ‘No.’ It’s no surprise really so few of us really like ourselves so how can we be happy. We’ve all got issues in our lives that need fixing, whether they’re professional, personal or health-related. Issues that we just can’t seem to iron out, no matter where, how or who we look too.  In fact, sometimes we’ve searched so much for the answer that we begin to wonder whether it really exists anywhere in this universe! Here’s the thing – sometimes, it doesn’t.”

Since Biology says men have seven to eight times more testosterone running through them than we do, this may account for so many sexual affairs outside of marriage. Should we women forgive them on the basis of biology alone? I don’t think every man who cheats should get off by going to rehabilitation for the addiction to sex. Jerry Springer has showed us there is a lot of fighting over who beds who. Once trust is broken, it is almost impossible for some to forget. Everyone hopes for a happy marriage but few knew we would have to change so much or give up so much to make our marriages work. Few women can overlook extramarital affairs because they feel betrayed.  Women also desire to have extra marital affairs, but we are more likely to analyze the consequences of what we do before we do it, unlike those who cheat.  Following our sexual fantasies weighs heavy on our conscious unless, we are doing others for revenge sex. Perhaps, we ought to go into marriage as a contract to be renewed annually.  Stephany Alexander, relationship expert says, “According to an adultery poll of over 5,000 women on WomanSavers.com, over 52% said they believe adultery should be prosecuted in courts. In early 2007 an Arizona court prosecuted two married adulterers for the first time in over 30 years. Only time will tell whether other states will follow in these types of adultery prosecutions.”Maybe, both genders would think twice about breaking their marriage vows facing a court hearing of their piers.  I like Ivana’s Trumps view on infidelity. “Darling, don’t get mad, get everything.! It is my recommendation if you are having relationship problems, go to Dr. Romance, for advice and counseling.