Did You Suffer Spouse-Separation? Are You Now Distraught and Dejected?

Ideally, a spouse is a life-time companion: the one whom we are bonded with via the sacred institution of marriage ( a date that’s usually stored in the cerebral as the most memorable day of most people), the one through whom we attain the dutiful but dignified status of parent, the one whom we spend the greater portion of our lives with, the one we often share our woes with, the one we grow old with, and above all — the one we love dearly.

Now the loss of such a one is likely to cause us rafts of worries and pains, as it oft equates to the loss of a companion, helper, assistant, partner, intimate friend, comforter, protector, and lover. Losing one of these people could prove sufficient to acquaint some with the irrational interiors of a mental institution; to then lose all at one unblessed instant — can truly be a shipwreck.

If you’re one of such hapless individuals who have suffered a separation or divorce, who have exhausted their tears to the point that their corneas now don a scarlet hue, who now wear a morose mien at every hour of the day, I’ve some advice that could be of some good — might even prove to be a curative for your woes. The simple is truth that you’re either to be held blameworthy for the separation or not; even if you both had parts to play in the events that led to the separation, the blame should register heavier on one side of the balance.

Think about that first: are you responsible for the separation or not? If the answer is yes, if your follies and vices caused the break-up; the first thing to do is to identify and admit the wrongs to yourself. Next, resolve firmly to refrain from doing those things by way of penitence. Having identified your wrongs and turned a new leaf, send a sincere and solemn apology to your spouse — you owe it to your spouse and yourself to do that. If the rift gets mended, take a good lesson from the episode and always remember how close you came to losing the one you love dearly. If not, being a better person can and will make it easier to quell the pain, and forget the past: for there truly is consolation in repentance. Finally, there is that all-important fact that grieving and lamenting can by no act of magic reverse time, however intense the laments are. You just have to move on.

On the other hand, If you are aren’t the cause of it, if you’ve constantly been on the receiving end of your spouse’s injustice, if you’ve been getting slighted and disrespected, and have been very forbearing with the hope that someday your spouse will see the light and change his/her ways — it’s about time you let go of the source of you miseries. You wouldn’t want to spend the rest of your days wailing and wishing because of your partner’s unfair treatment. The sad truth is that there are some unregenerate humans who see kindness as a weakness to be exploited, and may never stop being that way, however hard you may wish or try to change that. Let this knowledge be your comforter: that you‘re a better person than you spouse; and that it’s the worse elements who the need the better ones, not the other way round. That known, you will truly believe that you can, and will find good people who truly deserve you out there.