Don’t Avoid the Holidays

Divorce is never easy.  If it were we would all have done it at least a dozen times by now.  Occasionally, things just will not work out between two people that fell in love.  For whatever reason you both decide that the solution is to separate and move on.  So you do. 

This year you have your new house, new furniture, and new memories to build – only because keeping the old ones could be pretty painful.  You did care for each other once.  Life goes on……but then so do the memories that were formed with your spouse.

In many situations once married individuals will crawl into a hole around the Holidays because these were happy times with the spouse.  You all would attend parties and the family to-dos – it is a great time for sharing.  And even though everything tangible is replaced, the memories will live forever.

It is not an easy thing to do.

Remember when you were first married.  Changes were made to accommodate your other half – family functions, dinners, your family traditions were no longer the only traditions.  Your family traditions are still there.  Start with these. 

Of course you could always begin your own.  Every Thanksgiving my husband and I would go to his parent’s house around 2pm for dinner.  Because I had my family (which he did not get along with), I would go to my mother’s house to visit with her first and then move on with my husband’s family. 

After our separation I continued my visits to my mother’s house and started my own tradition.  Every year I cook for the bachelors that live next door to me.  We have fun.  They have become such great friends of mine, and my mom even came to my house this year. 

Divorce is the end of a chapter not the end of life.  It is ok to remain friends with your ex – you both love each after-all….for whatever reason you just cannot live together.  I talk to my ex-husband from time to time just to say hello.  Normally it is in response to a text message he sent to me.

Life will go on after divorce.  Go out once in awhile……..meet new people.