Do Children Help Strengthen a Marriage?

Some 27 percent of divorces involve no children, although only 9 percent of marriages are childless.  There are cases when children have grown up before their parents divorce—hence the parents come into the “childless” category, but childless marriages always appear more prone to visible breakdown, especially if this is a result of a lack of desire for children.  This may be because of the temperament of childless couples, but will also reflect the general unwillingness of a responsible couple to have children if they feel that their marriage is under stress.  There is also little need to stay together if there are no children affected. There is probably a good deal more masked breakdown in marriages with children, where the couple keeps up a front “for the sake of the children.” 

How far do children actually contribute to marital breakdown?  It is possible to make a tentative generalization, based on the comments of many married parents.  Almost without exception, they felt that children enhanced an already strong marriage but probably dealt the final blow to a marriage built on a shaky foundation.  Peter de Vries said that “The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.”