Do You Want to Fall in Love with Your Spouse, Again?

by gemini3 in Relationships, September 17, 2008

Where has your love gone? Find it and keep it. This is the first of a five part series that helps with your relationship.

Love is so popular that millions of songs, poems, stories, and even movies have been written or made about it. Love is such a powerful thing it cannot be imitated or copied, only felt and shown through our actions towards others. Why is it then that somehow love gets lost between the two individuals that promised to only love eachother?

Our hectic daily lives at work may be a reason. We spend most of the day with our co-workers. We laugh with them, share jokes and stories, and feel that awesome comaraderie . Yet we get home in the evening only to argue, share bills and financial problems, and feel the strong sense of sarcasm that exists between the two as eyes are rolled after every remark. We may be very nonconfrontational with our co-workers yet we are quick to lash out at the one we are supposed to love the most–our spouse! Does this sound like the life you lead with your spouse? If so, not to worry. Things can be fixed if both of you want them to. You will find love again.

It is important to make time for one another. This does not include the time you spend as a family if you have kids. This is only time for the two of YOU. This also does not include the time you spend watching TV together. Your focus should be on each other not on a show or game.
Go on a date so that you can spend quality time together. It can be something fancy where you spend time looking for that special outfit, shirt, perfume, or cologne to go out for dinner and dancing. Think back to when you were not married and merely dating each other…you wanted to impress not depress!
Learn to appreciate the little things that are done and learn to do the little things with love. Honey attracts more bees than mud.
Forget the past so that you can move on to a better relationship. If you cannot forget, you need to learn to forgive. If you hold on to negative feelings of a past problem, then you will never be able to work on your marriage or relationship. You need to let go, forget, and move on.
Make sure that both of you are working on falling in love with eachother again. Don’t assume that your partner has “caught on” because you have mentioned it to him / her. You need to bring up the fact that you want to make the marriage or relationship stronger. Most of the time, your partner doesn’t know that there is something wrong. You may want to bring it up after you have shared a tender kiss. Tell your spouse, ” Wow, we haven’t kissed like that in a long time…I want us to feel that love again…I want to work at this…let’s do it together…” Bring it up as if you are the one that needs the improvement and that you are the one initiating to help the cause. If you tell your spouse that he / she needs help, then you are putting it all on him/ her and they in turn will feel nagged and may not want to cooperate.
Whatever you do, do it with your marriage or relationship in mind. You are working towards a common goal. Remember when you felt that all you needed was each other and the love you shared in order to exist? Feel that way again.