Have you heard or used any of these lines before? I’ve met someone else. I love you but I’m not in love with you. My head is in a mess. I’m just not ready for a relationship right now. My ex wants to give it another go.

You’ve led a pretty sheltered life if none of the above have ever been uttered in your presence, or that of your friends. No one likes rejection and most of us get pretty upset when it happens to us, and don’t feel too good either when we have to deliver the news to someone else.

Well meaning mates will often advise honesty in these circumstances but if there’s one thing a relationship reject does not want to hear, it’s the truth. They don’t want to know they are boring, or rubbish in bed, or have terrible eating habits, or are just plain stinky.

Why keep your opinions to yourself? Well, I’m afraid it’s not a glorious motive, but simply a matter of self preservation. Some of us have a more developed sense of this than others. Take Julie, for instance. She always believed in the truth, so when she called it a day with her partner of eighteen months, she really felt she had to tell him it was because he was too tight with money and kept running her down in public.

Result? Hours of arguing, texting and doorstepping, with many promises to change. In reality, all she wanted to do was walk away, but she set up a whole tub of bother for herself by treating her man to the straight-down-the-line truth.

Whereas if she’s simply used the old chestnut, it’s not you, it’s me…how much quicker the situation would have resolved itself. Mr Tightwallet would have simply realised the relationship was irretrievable, hated her for a bit, but ultimately walked away ten times quicker.

The suggestion is not to act like a chicken, but avoid the drama by missing their calls, not answering their texts…being awful basically, so they blame you for everything and move on that much quicker as a result. They might even come to the conclusion that yes they did deserve better and go right ahead and tell you so. And then, my dear, your job is done.