Walking away is not easy. Staying away is even harder. Dealing with getting rid of toxic people in your life is not for the weak or faint of heart. It is a day to day battle that allows true strength to emerge.

When the decision is made to end toxic relationships, the light at the end of the tunnel appears to be very bright. The future will be better. It will not happen overnight, but it will happen. That belief has to be a constant reminder that the decision made was the right one to make. Walking away or ending the toxic relationship can be one of the hardest things to do.

There are those that think the decision was made too lightly. They will constantly say that the “fight” is silly and that a truce needs to be made. Well, if the toxic person had truly changed, then that might be a good idea. Before considering it, there are several issues that must be taken into consideration.

Has the toxic person really changed? Did the events that have recently unfolded been the catalyst to promoting change in that person? Have they shown proof of the change? Do not think that a simple apology or even everyone expecting that things should just go back to normal is evidence of true change. True change takes time. If it happens immediately, which I tend to doubt being true, deep changes, then time should still be taken to ensure that the change will last.

Stories throughout history have been told that show how a person experiences a life-changing event and totally turns their life around. Having someone stand up to a toxic person and ending the relationship may inspire such a change. It may not. It would require an expert on the causes of people changing to answer the question about the possibility of the toxic person changing so quickly. Common sense says that if they have changed, then they should understand the need of caution and the importance of seeing long term proof of the change before any sort of commitment can be made to a future with them.

What will happen if they are forgiven and life gets back to normal and the toxic person has not changed? If it is simply a friend that puts all of their negativity off on others, then ending the relationship again should not become a life of death matter. If the toxic relationship involves someone with a history of or suspicion of possible violence, then more care must be taken in considering whether to believe in the miracle of instant change.

If the decision is made to return to the relationship, be on the lookout for signs of toxicity. If the commitment is made to the relationship, unless violence is involved, give it time and use patience when appropriate. Do not give unlimited time or be patient to the extent that things simply return to the same old toxic relationship from before.

If the decision is made to not return to the relationship, be prepared for an onslaught of comments by people that are on the outskirts of the toxic relationship. Some of these may even become of a more toxic nature than would be expected. Be quick to end those. One day, things may change and the relationship with the people caught up in the by product toxic relationships may be worked out. They may not. The important thing is that they are not allowed to apply pressure on behalf of the toxic person from the initial relationship.

Walking away or ending a relationship is not easy. Some people may make it look easy. When there is a history with the person, especially one that consists of blood ties, walking away will seem like the hardest thing in the world. It does not signal weakness to have doubts or even to consider allowing them back. That is simply part of life and part of making changes. Doubts about whether the decision made was the right one are to be expected.

Time truly is the friend. The old saying “time heals all wounds” may not be completely accurate, but it is a blessing during the time of ending toxic relationships. Another important saying is “life goes on.” So it should. If time hidden away is needed to recover from any physical abuse that may have occurred, then take it. Do not hide away to protect them. Let it be known what happened. This is simply a matter of doing what is necessary for protection. After informing the proper authorities, take the time needed. Just set a time limit. After that time, get out and participate in life. Start a new hobby, volunteer somewhere, get a job, or go back to school. Make decisions that are best for the future.

It took strength to walk away. It will take even more strength to stay away. With time, the strength required will appear to lessen. Keep fighting the battle to end the toxic relationship. Keep looking towards a future that is happy and healthy. Let the strength that has been hiding shine with each step taken down the road to a new and better life.