Comments on: Ending a Toxic Relationship Takes Strength

By: Murray

Murray — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 05:42:09 +0000

We first got involved via a computer dating site and I had started making longterm plans to share my worlds with her because she had had a terrible prior life.
She had been abused as a child, until her early teens by an older brother and his pals, and during it all she never screamed, just kept it all inside telling no one until letting it slip out one day, then later denied it ever happened at the request of a parent, in fear of losing her children.
I thought that while she was intelligent, she was not the brightest person out there.
So I had thought at the time we first dated, that perhaps, I could help her out and at the same time, help myself a bit too. Then it started one day, I dont want you to work at all she would say, as I can support us.
Then next there were problems with our friends, and later another problem developed between her and not one but two of my neices that I was once close to, and later also with their children.
None of them too were to be contacted any further as they failed to live up to her expectations, apparently?.

For close to the 2 and a half years we were together, apparently, I surprised myself as I was willing to stand by and watch her destroy every thing and almost all of my own personal relationships that I had had with many other persons.

Secondly, there were apartment building dwellers that she disliked, as they too failed to match her lifestyles, or had themselves some other issues.

But next and thankfully, lastly, she started to tell me that I was looking at other women and that she was jealous about it. I said she was letting her imagination get the better of her, and sometimes, but almost daily, she would tell me that I would be sneaking a peek looking at the girl or woman in question looking off the bus’ windows, while enroute.

Then it was while we were standing waiting for the daily bus, then while we on the bus, then at the destination where she held a job as a call centre service representative for a major credit card there.

Apparently during staff meal and morning or afternoon breaks, they all get together to discuss their personal lives there that they have too, and then as a group, seemingly then next decide what is best for them in their own lives.

During our later in the day conversation, I just listened while she told me that on several occasions, she would be told that she was called a darling and further that some other fellow # 2 was also interested in developing with her, a possible relationship and that she had considered it because ours was going south?

Now, I am sure that I have many issues of my own, but getting her to finally leave my home is the best that I could hope for.

Now the hard part, when she realizes that I have too gone, can I stay away from her longterm? I certainly hope so.

By: liz albani

liz albani — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 18:22:40 +0000

I thought I was going crazy for 2 years. On again, off again, I should have trusted my instincts from the start,but boy was he a slick operator and I just fell right in til I started to drown. I didnt know what was true anymore, who he was anymore, but worse, I didnt know who I was anymore. I\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\’m the luckiest woman in the world to have found out the very hurtful things this man has done to me…it gave me the strength to sever all ties and regain my dignity, and with the help of my family, friends, and therapy, I know I\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\’m going to be ok. It\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\’s a long, emotional road this is true…But don\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\’t look back whatever you do or he or she will try everything in their power to rope you in again. DON\\\\\\\’T FALL FOR IT… TRUST YOURSELF…YOU WILL BE FINE!

Liz Albani, NY

By: Liz Albani

Liz Albani — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 18:17:04 +0000

I thought I was going crazy for 2 years. On again, off again, I should have trusted my instincts from the start,but boy was he a slick operator and I just fell in til I started to drown. I didnt know what was true anymore, who he was anymore, but worse, I didnt know who I was anymore. I\\\’m the luckiest woman in the world to have found out the very hurtful things this man has done to me…it gave me the strength to sever all ties and regain my dignity, and with the help of my family, friends, and therapy, I know I\\\’m going to be ok. It\\\’s a long, emotional road this is true…But don\\\’t look back whatever you do or he or she tries to do to rope you in again. YOU WILL BE FINE! good luck everyone.

By: Liz Albani

Liz Albani — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 18:16:49 +0000

I thought I was going crazy for 2 years. On again, off again, I should have trusted my instincts from the start,but boy was he a slick operator and I just fell in til I started to drown. I didnt know what was true anymore, who he was anymore, but worse, I didnt know who I was anymore. I\’m the luckiest woman in the world to have found out the very hurtful things this man has done to me…it gave me the strength to sever all ties and regain my dignity, and with the help of my family, friends, and therapy, I know I\’m going to be ok. It\’s a long, emotional road this is true…But don\’t look back whatever you do or he or she tries to do to rope you in again. YOU WILL BE FINE! good luck everyone.

By: lizalbani

lizalbani — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 18:15:57 +0000

I thought I was going crazy for 2 years. On again, off again, I should have trusted my instincts from the start,but boy was he a slick operator and I just fell in til I started to drown. I didnt know what was true anymore, who he was anymore, but worse, I didnt know who I was anymore. I’m the luckiest woman in the world to have found out the very hurtful things this man has done to me…it gave me the strength to sever all ties and regain my dignity, and with the help of my family, friends, and therapy, I know I’m going to be ok. It’s a long, emotional road this is true…But don’t look back whatever you do or he or she tries to do to rope you in again. YOU WILL BE FINE! good luck everyone.

By: Trusting Myself Now

Trusting Myself Now — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 14:38:04 +0000

A therapist I knew once said that breakups and divorces (even in the best of circumstances) are difficult to deal with because we have no real ceremony to show it has ended, so one day we feel it is over and the next we mourn and waver in our conviction. The therapist recommended a ceremony to help mark the transition in one\\\’s life. It makes sense to me. Two days ago, I ended a toxic relationship. If I had stayed a part of myself would die each day and trusting him would mean ignoring my trust in myself, so I plan to prepare a party in the future to mark my dedication to myself.

By: Trusting Myself Now

Trusting Myself Now — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 14:37:45 +0000

A therapist I knew once said that breakups and divorces (even in the best of circumstances) are difficult to deal with because we have no real ceremony to show it has ended, so one day we feel it is over and the next we mourn and waver in our conviction. The therapist recommended a ceremony to help mark the transition in one\’s life. It makes sense to me. Two days ago, I ended a toxic relationship. If I had stayed a part of myself would die each day and trusting him would mean ignoring my trust in myself, so I plan to prepare a party in the future to mark my dedication to myself.

By: Left after 23 years with a serial cheater

Left after 23 years with a serial cheater — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 14:36:37 +0000

A therapist I knew once said that breakups and divorces (even in the best of circumstances) are difficult to deal with because we have no real ceremony to show it has ended, so one day we feel it is over and the next we mourn and waver in our conviction. The therapist recommended a ceremony to help mark the transition in one’s life. It makes sense to me. Two days ago, I ended a toxic relationship. If I had stayed a part of myself would die each day and trusting him would mean ignoring my trust in myself, so I plan to prepare a party in the future to mark my dedication to myself.

By: GINIA37

GINIA37 — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 02:47:23 +0000

I have been in a toxic relationship for 5 years. I ended it recently but I am very sad. I know it is the best decision. I have given my whole geart and soul to this person. I feel used and let down. I hope I feel better soon. I feel like im at a funeral that wont end.

By: Scared to leave

Scared to leave — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 16:40:26 +0000

I am currently trying to work up the courage to leave a toxic relationship that has lasted 4 years. We have a daughter together and that’s what keeps me in it. I pray every night for God to take the pain away and to give me the courage to leave. I just want my life back. She has demonized every member of my family and nearly every friend I have had. For 4 years, I’ve been made to believe I was the bad guy and I’m finally beginning to realize that I’m not that bad after all. I’m scared to death.