Envy – Secret Manifestations

What is envy?

‘It is the feeling of resentment or regretful desire for another person’s qualities,’ is the meaning given by the dictionary for envy.’ It is an emotional experience which creeps inside one, grows into a vicious monster inconspicuously, manifests itself in several ways, aching for a revenge. It is strange how the human mind, instead of getting contentment through its own natural endowments, pines for someone else’s blessing or luck. The beginning of envy, the psychologists say, is the sibling rivalry. A child, as soon as it is able to recognise a diversion in the affection, for which it had hitherto been the sole beneficiary, feels insecure and resents the cause of this, which, naturally, is the younger child. Thoughtful  parents, slowly alleviate the insecure feelings of the elder child, bringing composure, by balancing their affection. The child thus gives up its craving for primary importance, gets over its emotional stumble and learns to share. But envy is not forgotten throughout one’s life. Time and again it peeps out in several forms, at times turning destructive.

A desire to emulate is not envy: 

Some people regard the success of certain others with awe. They start following them involuntarily. This is a positive attitude. Yearning to be like someone who is brilliant and talented is a natural human urge. In a child, imitation is part of growing up. Imitation is just replication of actions, but emulation is observational learning. By emulating successful people, one can learn and achieve.

Is a person with a touch of envy, evil?- is he a sinner?

We find people whom we deem good are occasionally smitten by envy. Some are able to control it when they identify it as envy in its primary stage. It naturally gives pain when a person, not worthy, is favoured by luck. Not always fortune favours the fools. Think positively because positive thoughts always help one into positive actions. One cannot avoid envy just as one cannot avoid failures. It is a natural emotional reaction which can be overcome before it spoils relationships. It becomes evil only when it turns destructive.

How envy and jealousy can spoil relationships: 

Envy can create low self-esteem in a person and make him sad and disgusted in life. He develops a hostile attitude in general. It starts as a negative attitude and grows into an emotion. Jealousy is very close to envy, arising out of possessiveness for something or somebody, though at times envy and jealousy are used in the same meaning. Both have disastrous effects in human relationships. Both the  emotions can be experienced by the same person at the same time. Possessive love unleashes jealousy, and the result is envy. Envy begets anger and relationships go sore. Medical help should be sought in cases of extreme jealousy.

Manifestations of envy: 

Josh Billings, American humorist says,

Image via Wikipedia

 looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.’ Envy demonstrates itself in various actions.

Wishing secretly the envied person’s failure.

Comparatively harmless evidence of envy is negative criticism. Trying to find out the smallest follies in the person envied blowing them up and publicising them.

Putting down the envied person by sarcasm, outright mocking or harsh words.

Expressing pleasure on seeing the sorrow of those envied.

Expressing anger at their success.

The destructive manifestation is bringing unhappiness and ruin by some means to the person envied and deriving pleasure in it.

Cure for envy:

If one suffers regret for being envious, there is remedy.

• Admit to yourself that you suffer envy. If you deny that, you cannot improve.
• Learn to relax, not thinking about your source of envy. A bit difficult, but can be achieved.
• Be patient. Your time will come.
• At the end of each day, evaluate your thoughts, actions. Keep a check on them. There is nothing like self evaluation in self-improvement.
• Do not make comparisons of yourself with others. That destroys your person.
• Believe each one is special, with a special quality.
• Develop that generosity of spirit.
• Develop inner contentment. Seek God’s help in this if you are a believer.
• Develop the spirit of equanimity.
• Try to seek happiness even in the small blessings that you are gifted with.
• Count your own blessings and not  the other people’s.
• Be rid of the deadly sin and lead a happy life, spreading warmth all around you.