Feel The Love: Reconnecting with Your Spouse After Having Children

My husband’s best friend lives in Seattle, WA.  He and his awesome wife have come home to Wisconsin to visit us and their families countless times, however with our two little, darling girls both under the age of three, we have never really had the time or money to go there…Until this last summer when I found a way to feel the love and reconnect with my spouse.

Lay On the Love

In an effort to reintroduce my spouse to his once Saturday morning margarita drinking wife I thought really hard about what it would take to get me out of my stay-at-home, Wiggles singing, diaper changing, toddler entertaining mindset; a super-secret trip to Seattle.  I realize that many of you might be shrugging, thinking, I can’t find the money to do something like that!  What I discovered is that not everyone needs to get 1500 miles away from their cherubs to reconnect with their spouse.  The question is, how do you reconnect after having children?  How do you find your way back to the affectionate couple that you once were?  I’ll tell you.  Touch.  It seems so simple, but in the midst of dishing out a million kisses, hugs, touches, and gentle looks a day to our children, we tend not to have much left over for our adult honeys.  You have to trust me when I say that one touch is priceless it can lead to another and a possible back-rub…and maybe even some love rubs.

Build Your Savings

Since so many couples are sharing careers, it seems that money would be equally important to both sexes.  A recent poll done by Greenwald and Associates on CNN.money.com says that 43 percent of couples argue about money.  Finances can cause a great amount of distress in relationships; try not to fall into the trap by overspending and not saving.  If you need Versace or Jimmy Choos and your spouse has had the same wallet for ten years and bought his latest pair of sneakers at Payless, you may not be seeing eye-to-eye.  After you have started saving money and have a little cushion, or maybe a larger amount of money causing you to have to decide where you should invest, you may find that there is something just as settling, just as sexy as fancy shoes.  Knowing that you will have money to travel in the future with your spouse, pay for college, retire early, see the sights, or pay for weddings (If they still do that then.) can help melt away the stress.  Seeing the big picture and imagining your life with your spouse at a different time far off into the future also helps.  When the days of 3:00 am morning calls are not a four night a week play date, when you are caught up on your sleep and have had the time to get back in shape you might find that having similar financial goals will help you feel more secure in your relationship making it even easier to reconnect with your spouse.