Fidelity

In marriage, we pick and choose to be close to someone because there is that “need”, that “urge” that “something” in our nature that makes us want to be that “special” person to somebody. So we pick and choose and once we’ve chosen, we tend to stick close by those people. No matter how much we are hurt by them or how much we hurt them. It is them who are still with you through thick and thin, through rain and sunshine, and they are the “ones” that make the going all the more worthwhile.

Tips to Polish Fidelity

Accept Instead of Tolerate

People say – one should be tolerant to each other. I find tolerance to each other negative. On the contrary, acceptance of each other much more positive. In tolerance you feel you are being denied yourself something, there is that grey area which broods discomfort. Whereas in acceptance, you are receiving the other as a gift (perhaps something less to your expectations) with good grace. Being accepted gives us the security to reveal the truth about ourselves in all its creative chaos. As Marianne Williamson quotes “If a space is created in which two people are  totally free to reveal their walls, then those walls, in time, will come down”.

Persevere Instead of Survive

If the usual response to the query, how are you? evokes a half-hearted “oh I am surviving” what does that entail? The person is not happy. There is something bothering him/her. But if I have to say “I am persevering” -does not that strike a more promising note? If you are just surviving through your commitment, before long it is going to die out – it does not take a Scotland detective to detect that. But if you want your commitment to last – try again, how many times you may fail. As long as you have the strength to preserve and the faith in yourself your commitment will last – it does not take a divine prophet to prophesy that.

You Change Instead of Wishing Change in Other

This is an era of change agents and change adapters. We might be excellent in our respective work fields (and we might even put those phrases in our C.Vs) but when it comes down to family. Who changes? How many times we wish the other would be different, make a change, and change their patterns. If you think it would make the other happy, you take the pains of changing but in the process if you are unhappy please don’t. It wouldn’t make any difference. Let the change process be gradual not radical.