I recently ran into a friend who I had not seen in weeks. We were catching up on how our families were when I noted that my husband usually cooked dinner and has it ready and waiting for me when I get home. Needless to say she was floored at this concept saying,”You can not find a man these days that is willing to do that and how she was praying that God would send her a perfect mate.” I, on the other hand, was taken aback by that idea but unfortunately it is not uncommon to hear this reasoning from most single people. Now instead of telling her that that was a prayer that had probably already been answered but she was too blinded on the perception of “perfection” to see, I asked was she perfect. The truth is, is that no one would be able to live up to that high of an expectation and finding a mate is not about finding perfection.

Do not misunderstand  me because I am in no way saying that you should lower your standards, however, I am saying to be more realistic in setting those standards. If you can readily admit to yourself that you are not “perfect” and can openly acknowledge your own flaws, you should not expect someone else to be flawless. Many potential good mates have been tossed aside because it was thought that she was alright untill I found out that she bit her fingernails or he was perfect until he clipped his toenails in bed. When a more realistic way to handle these actions without jeopardizing a possible beautiful future with this person could be, I do not like that she bites her nails but she does not like that I snore or I do not like that he clips his toenails in bed but he does not like when I leave hair in the sink. Granted, these could be annoying habits but are not earth shattering reasons to not give this person a chance to becoming an otherwise perfect mate for you.

Finding a mate is about being honest with yourself and knowing what you are willing and capable of tolerating and being able to compromise. It is about setting standards that are realistic and reasonable for your partner to achieve. Most of all it is the ability to be able to know yourself first, flaws and all.