Finding the One: Is It Necessary?

There’s music in the background, the air is hazy and you have stars in your eyes. You have waited for this moment to happen for what seems like eternity. Reality snaps you back to earth and you realize you that moment still has not happened for you and doesn’t seem like it’s anywhere near the horizon either. What happened to your fairytale ending? Where is your knight riding on the horse coming to rescue you or the damsel in distress waiting for your kiss to awaken her? There are no set rules or guidelines to tell you how to meet the right person for you. But rest assure if you go to a bookstore and into the self help section, there are many books out there to tell you how to go about finding your perfect soul mate.

However if there was one book that could truly give you the results you were looking for then there wouldn’t be so many to choose from. Is it fate that guides that person to you? Or a lucky accident? All I know is that in the process of trying to find that right mate, I have learned more about myself than I ever could have being in a relationship. I’ve had a few relationships here and there, but nothing can compare to the true soul searching a person can achieve when they are alone.

When you are in a relationship, especially in the beginning, you tend to put your partner’s need ahead of your own. You start to think in terms of “we” instead of “I.” Not to say there is anything wrong with that, but eventually our true selves want to come out again and what happens when we realize that the other person is not on the same path as you are? Chaos and tension in the relationship. You decide whether to work through the differences or go your separate ways.  The 20’s are filled with discovery and learning about yourself. Some people may know from very young who they are and what they want. Others discover themselves during this decade or even later. Relationships can teach a lot but so can being on your own and finding your path in this life. Once you do, wouldn’t finding the right person be even sweeter once you have truly found the yourself? Everyone seems to say love arrives when you stop looking but I think the love that really matters is the love for self which is there all along, just needs to be rediscovered. It’s a journey worth taken.