Everyone knows that fire and gasoline don’t mix, or do they?
Have you ever seen two people who are crazy about each other, have similar interests, but also enough differences to keep them interesting to each other, but they cannot seem to get along, no matter what? I think we all have, and it’s the stuff movies are made of. Unfortunately, when it’s real life, nothing is resolved in thirty minutes, and they’ll be lucky if it’s resolved in a lifetime.
It has been said that romance is friendship set on fire, but sometimes, that fire can consume everyone it touches. And yet, the two friends or lovers seem bound to each other by some indeterminate force of nature. As Nicholas Sparks put it, ““They didn’t agree on much. In fact, they didn’t agree on anything. They fought all the time and challenged each other ever day. But despite their differences, they had one important thing in common. They were crazy about each other.”
Is there hope for these volatile, oil and water, fire and gasoline type relationships? I have seen it work with time and maturity, but in the cases where it doesn’t work, and the couple stays together anyway, it can create a life of struggle and heartache, and even more so if there are children born of the union. Dr. Phil offers some advice on this subject of opposites who attract: Don’t expect it to be easy. Manage your expectations.
Do not undermine your spouse’s authority. Take ownership of your relationship, and don’t wait for your partner to take action. Remember that you teach people how to treat you. Have a spirit of acceptance. Men and women are different because they’re supposed to be! Stop complaining and start asking for what you want. Be specific. Recognize how your partner enriches your life, rather than simply reflecting it. Appreciate your differences. Ask yourself every day: “What can I do to make my relationship better today? What can I communicate to my partner that I really value?” You don’t have a right not to. Pick your battles. Don’t wait until there’s a fight to talk about how to resolve your differences. That’s when blood is flowing and tempers are high. Have a calm discussion during times of peace. Compromise. Opposites can compromise and find middle ground if you’re both willing to work on it.”
So, although it seems rather challenging, fire and gasoline can co-exist, but with much more work and caution. Perhaps it’s okay to hang onto that “friendship no one else can touch.”