Fired Up: Don’t Let a Fight Get Out of Control 2

At the same time, there are good and bad ways to conduct yourself in an argument. Follow these tips to successfully get your point across without any unnecessary hurt feelings.

Speak up before you’re fed up. If you have to throw a tantrum to get your point across, the situation has gone too far. When you don’t address little problems, they can grow into bigger issues before you know it. You’re more likely to blow your top, and your chances of getting what you want. To best address a long standing annoyance, pick a neutral time and place so you can discuss the situation when you’re calm instead of in the heat of the moment. So, if you’re dealing with a phone hog sibling or a friend who’s always late, approach the topic when you’re say, polishing off a pizza together. Be sincere, but firm, and you’ll get a lot further. You might say, “since we’re both big talkers, can we make a phone schedule?” Most likely, she’ll work with you. Just keep your eye on the prize, a long term resolution, to set the stage for a mutually happy calling plan.

Forget about the silent treatment. The silent treatment is the ultimate go nowhere tactic. A lot of people dread confrontation and try to avoid it, thinking the problem will go away on its own. But it never does. Both of you can end up feeling resentful. Do take a time out to cool down, but speak up soon, or it will just get harder to deal. A sympathetic comment, such as “I know you’re mad, and I’d like to talk about it” served as a good ice-breaker. If a pal remains miffed, try cracking a self-deprecating joke such as, “Hey, even I don’t want to be friends with me sometimes”. Laughing will help her relax and make her more likely to engage in truce tactics.

Stay tuned for more tips in part three.