First Date: Dos and Don’ts

by Jennifer Marre in Relationships, October 7, 2009

So you’re getting ready to go on a first date with someone new, but you won’t get any further than this first date if you don’t know how to behave. Here are some simple tips about what to do and what not to do on a first date.

So you’re getting ready to go on a first date with someone new. Perhaps you followed my advice about online dating (Online Dating: Your Soul Mate is Only a Click Away) or maybe it’s a blind date set up by a mutual friend, or you met them last weekend at the bar. Wherever you made the initial connection, you won’t get any further than this first date if you don’t know how to behave. Here are some simple tips about what to do and what not to do on a first date.

DO NOT talk about your ex. When you mention your ex, you are telling your date that you have not moved on from your previous relationship yet. If you are constantly trash talking an ex, no matter how insane they may have been, a new potential partner may see you as the one with issues and may not want to get involved.

DO NOT tell your date about past sexual encounters. Whether you’re “technically a virgin” or have had sex with hundreds of people, your date doesn’t want to know the who, what, where, or when of your sexual experiences, especially not on the first date.

DO NOT have sex on the first date. Don’t have sex on the third date either. When you have sex too soon, you are risking the relationship being entirely about the physical aspects. Wait to sleep together at least until you have both agreed that you are in an exclusive relationship. Depending on factors such as age and sexual experience, you may want to wait as long as several months to over a year before sleeping together. If you are a virgin, you may want to put off having sex until you are sure you are ready and that this is the person you want to give your virginity to.

Read more in Relationships

« What’s Your Turn On? Everyone Has One

Pillow Talk: Do You Believe It’s Important? »

DO NOT answer your cell phone on a first date. Give your date your undivided attention.

DO offer to pay for the date. If you’re a man, it is generally expected that you will pay, and you will seem cheap if you don’t pay for your date’s meal. If you’re a woman, offering to pay your share will show the man that you are independent and aren’t trying to take advantage of him. It also protects you from having your date expect sex after taking you to dinner.