First Date: Dos and Don’ts

DON’T be afraid to discuss topics such as politics and religion. Most sources say that these are topics to be avoided on a first date, but these topics can offer important insight as to whether or not you want to pursue a relationship with this person. For example, if you are an atheist and know that you cannot be with someone who is extremely religious, it is important to know up front if your date is a fundamentalist Christian. If you are an activist for the Green Party, you also probably don’t want to waste time trying to form a relationship with an extreme right-winger. You don’t have to agree with the other person on every issue, as debate can make conversation more interesting, but it’s important to know where someone stands regarding issues that are important to you before you waste too much time trying to start a relationship.

DO NOT lie. Don’t lie about your life or your beliefs, values, or opinions just to impress your date. If the relationship does progress, they will find out eventually, and this will just make you seem like a loser. If your date seems genuinely interested, a relationship will probably work. However, if you have to lie just to impress them, the relationship is doomed before it even starts. If someone doesn’t like you for who you are, they obviously aren’t good enough for you.

DO ask your date about his/her life, and seem interested. Don’t ask anything that they may be uncomfortable talking about or that would invade their privacy.

DON’T be afraid kiss your date before you part ways, depending on how the date goes. If they seem interested, and act like they want to kiss you, go for it. If they seem interested, but also seem like they want to take things slow, hold off on the kiss until the second date.

DO hug your date at the end of the evening. Whether or not you kiss your date, a hug shows that you are interested, and that you like them enough to want to see them again. It also shows that you are emotionally open, which is a positive trait whether you are a man or a woman.

DO give your date a second chance even if they don’t seem like a “perfect” match on the first date. A lot of people get nervous on first dates, and might not act the way they do in everyday situations. Consider spending time together outside of a formal “dinner and a movie” date. However, if they did things that made you feel uncomfortable, such as pressuring you to have sex, don’t give them a second chance. If they simply seemed a little nervous or awkward, why not give them a second date?

DON’T be offended if your date didn’t go well and you didn’t get a second date. Not everyone is right for you and you deserve to be with someone with whom you can actually connect.