Five Classic Myths About True Love
What, on earth, is true love?
Do I actually need to hear the words from him?
Why am I so hysterical about what he says but not about what he does?
Jim and Faith never fight. They never raise voice at each other, let alone physical violence. Which may create the wrong impression of two loving doves, which they are not. Like every couple they have their controversies, disagreements and “hot topics”. It’s just that they refuse to resolve any slightest issue by conversation. Jimmy is a champion in keeping silent when something bothers him. Faith is a world leader in ignoring everything and everyone when she is pissed off.
Controlling emotions and preventing anger from taking over you is a sign of maturity, which many couples still need to learn. But can you really call it true love, when people fail to communicate? Instead of talking about it, they choose to deny and ignore the issue, keeping on living in the same apartment but in parallel worlds? This total lack of communication in stressful situations, is a sort of psychological impotence. This is something to be learned and practiced.
Myth #4 – He should take you out.
Just wonder how different we, people, are. Some of us are introverts, some are extroverts. Some want to dedicate their lives to scientific research, some to kids and family and some just like to live fast.
There are people who worship their homes and don’t like to be out. The “domestic” type, who like to dine in their own kitchen, watch DVDs in the living room, and to read books in the bedroom. What’s wrong with that? Who set the standard of how many times you should go out? Going out just for the protocol won’t make you happy. If he doesn’t take you out and you’re happy spending your life at home – way to go!
Myth #5 – Sex – at least twice a week.
It is customary to think that “normal” couples should have sex twice a week. This is sort of an “average” number the statisticians must have derived as a result of a common research or something.
Great. But are you in that “average”? Are you listening to stats or your own body? I have a friend who gets so tired at work, that she can only have sex with a pillow by the end of the day. She loves her boyfriend, who gets very tired too, by the way. So this is how they are, like old folks, spending their evenings drinking tea in the kitchen. No sex for weeks!
It’s not a world secret that each person has his or her potential and personal physical needs and limitations. Some people, like Jawad in my first example, can never get enough, even after 8-10 times a say. Other guys need it once a month. Nature keeps it all in balance.
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Our ‘thinking authority’ is infested with these and thousands more myths. How to break this stereotype thinking and get to the core of ‘good’ and ‘bad’?
This is simple. Always add the word “ me” after expressing this or another statement.
- “Going out twice a month is ok with me”
- “Having sex once a week is perfect for me”
- “His cheating on me is not acceptable by me”
- “Celebrating my birthday at home is fine with me”
- “He doesn’t say he loves me, but this is fine with me”
- “He doesn’t bring me flowers, but this is acceptable by me”
- “I pay for him in restaurants and this is absolutely tolerable by me”
If you, personally, crave for flowers and see it as a must-be part of your relationship, it doesn’t mean the girl next door thinks the same.
Therefore, the only universal rule is, that there is no such a thing as ‘right’ and ‘wrong’.
There can only be ‘right’ or “wrong’ for me”.
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Post CommentJoie Schmidt
On November 23, 2009 at 1:43 am
Very interesting perspective.
Blessings.
Sincerely,
-Liane Schmidt.