Five Steps to Falling in Love with Your Spouse Again
by This discusses what steps you must take in order to revive the love with your spouse. It also covers why this is an important part of the marriage relationship.
In a long-term relationship like marriage, it is unlikely that you need to fall in love again with your spouse. It is more likely that you need to work on reconnecting with your spouse so that you can remember why you love this person. If you have not made a conscious decision to retract your love from your spouse, it is still there buried beneath a mountain of too little attention and perhaps too many fights.
If cheating or other equally large problems are not ripping the marriage apart, the love is there waiting to be uncovered.
Assuming infidelity or some third party interference is not at play, it is a matter of uncovering or rediscovering the love between you and your spouse. If you have failed to work on your relationship, your attention has gone in other directions than toward your spouse. Life has a way of being filled with obligations and distractions. To maintain a loving relationship, it needs to be given some effort in spite of everything else that you must deal with from day to day.
Rebuilding the love requires that you spend time together as a couple.
This is not just about developing a date night although that might be a good start. You need time together. Plan a retreat for a weekend or a week. If you still have younger children, find a keeper for them and go without them. Time together means time alone together. It is an opportunity to connect with the sense of humor, seeking of adventure, or a quiet evening in conversation. This is the type of things that helped you decide to build a life together. The process of building that life caused your spouse to become out of focus in your life. This is a chance to tune back into each other.
Take some risks for the sake of love.
Send some flowers, prepare a great meal, or plan a day away and surprise your spouse. You may want to express your love verbally to your spouse if it has been a while since you have actually said it. If you will court your spouse, you may find the same starting to come back in your direction. Love always requires a measure of risk. It is the risk of rejection or indifference. If your spouse is worth loving, the risk will pay off with huge relational dividends.
Try to remove the excess busy times from your life.
You cannot develop a relationship without time. Love requires more than just a tap now and then. You need to open up holes in your schedule that will allow you to work to find what is lost. Your spouse needs to be encouraged to do the same. Use this time to revisit the reasons that you fell in love at the beginning.
Do not be surprised when you find old feelings starting to flame up.
Find those reasons and you will find your spouse has not changed as much as you thought. The truth is, neither have you. If you felt love for this person that was strong enough to commit to marriage, it should not be too tough to get it burning again.
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