Five Things to Remember When You Really Want Her Back

Breaking up really hurts, especially when you’re the one who was dumped. More than anything, you just want things to go back to the way they were. You’re vulnerable and sad, which can make you do some incredibly stupid things that may just ultimately work against you if you ever want to get back with that special lady. What follows is a list of five things to remember when you really want her back.

Turn off your selective memory.

We’ve all heard the saying, “hindsight 20/20,” right? Well, this saying couldn’t be any more accurate when it comes to thinking about relationships. If you have been rejected, you are more than likely placing all the blame on yourself and remembering only the good times. Remember that nothing is perfect and, chances are, there were plenty of times you wanted out as well. Stop remembering only the good times and start thinking about what bothered you about your lady. This will serve to empower you and help you to start moving forward.

Make a list of the bad things.

This may seem counter-intuitive, but take things a step further and make a list of all the bad things and petty annoyances in your relationship. Not only will this help you to start moving forward, but will help remind you about all the things in your relationship that were not perfect. You don’t have to get too negative, but focusing on the negative aspects of a broken relationship may be just what you need to realize that all is not lost and that better things are on the horizon.

There’s a reason things didn’t work out.

Take this time to reflect on why things didn’t ultimately work out in your relationship. Do you see a pattern developing in this relationship and the relationships in your past? Nobody likes to hear cliches, but knowing that things happen for a reason and learning what that reason is may help you to be a better partner in the future. When things don’t work out, it really is usually for the best in the long run. You may not see that now, but you will soon enough.

Get rid of reminders.

After a breakup, it seems like all is lost and that only one thing will make things better. Often, we hang onto reminders of our relationship, even when there is no doubt that it is over. You may not need to get rid of these reminders forever, but now is not the time to gaze into the eyes of a picture of your ex as you cry yourself to sleep. Pass these things onto a good friend or family member to hold for you until you are ready to have these things back in your life with little or no effect. If that isn’t possible, eliminate the reminders permanently.

Know that there’s always someone better for you.

When you’re in a successful relationship, there’s no reason to keep looking for someone better. When things have finished, however, there has no doubt been a lot of emotion building up between the two of you. Things have been said and done that can oftentimes not be undone or taken back. While it would be wonderful in a perfect world to forgive, forget, and reconnect, this is usually not what happens. Know that if you have been mistreated that there is always someone out there who will be able to have a successful relationship with you. It will take time, but it will happen for you again.