Five Things You Should Not Say or Do When Breaking Up with Someone

There is always an immature and a mature way of handling matters. When you break up with someone, the temptation is so great to commit unkind and disrespectful ways to do it. However, ending a relationship does not eliminate the chance that you would meet again in the future, for this reason; before you decide to burn bridges, consider doing it with care. Here are five things you must avoid in ending relationships.

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1. Return things (gifts, letters, pictures, etc.)

There is a certain amount of sincerity that brought you these things. Not returning them is not an indication of unwillingness to let go. In fact, it is a brave act that shows you are strong and honest enough to live with these things and the memories they bring without bitterness. (If you are still hurting though, I advise you to keep them locked away in a box. They might just end up in the bin and in ashes too.)

2. Gossip about His or Her Faults

It is sad to note that a lot of sensible people become immature gossipmongers after breaking up with someone. Whatever you do, however great the pain you feel, never gossip. Most of the time, such an act backfires. You would only end up feeling more frustrated and hurt. What is more, it could cost you the respect and confidence of the people with whom you gossiped to. For certain, gossip never brings sympathy. (Or if you weren’t going for sympathy, you might not want to become the “she’s so not-over-him” joke.)

3. Throw Insults

This one causes tragedy. Even though many wants to keep a good memory of that person they break up with, most people fail because they just can’t hold their tongues. An insult brings nothing but insults, and proper closure becomes nearly impossible. And correct me if I am wrong, but always after fits of throwing insults, most people feel drained, more hurt and guilty, no matter who’s fault it was at the start. You want closure? Talk right.

4. Ignore and Never Confront

Immaturity to the highest level. I mean hello? If you feel you are done with someone, well then man up and declare it. If there is no more love, let there be respect. If there is no more respect, at least be nice. If you can’t be nice, then be civil. Don’t just ignore the person. If he or she is still that in to you, chances are, she won’t leave you in peace. So draw up those chairs and settle things, once and for all. (Though ignoring might be the easiest way to break up with someone, it never results to resolution and true closure.)

5. Say that You Never Really Wanted Him or Her

The fact that you get into a relationship with someone says that, then, there must be something, if not everything, about the person that you liked and wanted. And to say otherwise during break up is the highest form of insult. It is against all the rules of civility. This would only cause unnecessary pain. You are breaking up with someone, save some respect and leave the person with his dignity intact.

The thing we have to understand about breaking up is that, it is ourselves that has changed. Always, it is our view of the relationship that has gone haywire. It is our choice and our decision to give up, no matter what the reason is, or whose fault it is.