Every marriage has its problems and dysfunctions.  It’s only normal, because we’re all different people and this is exactly what makes us unique and interesting.  Regardless of what your particular problems might be, as every marriage is different, you can always try these 5 things.

1. Find something to compliment your spouse on. Yep.  In the throes of anger, finding a compliment can be very, very hard, but take a deep breath, and remember back to the time in which you fell in love.  It might have been that sway in their walk, or a sultry voice.  Maybe it was the interesting and intelligent things they had to say.  But blurting out a simple “Your chicken came out awesome last night.” or “Your hair looks great today, did you do something different?” can have a deep effect in improving the relationship.  This is something good to practice everyday, even several times a day.
2. Make time for date night. Remember when you used to have fun together?  You might say “yeah, we were just dating”.  Exactly the point.  Schedule date night.  Surprise your spouse with a movie and dinner, tickets to go rock climbing… whatever it is that you guys love to do together.  This is good to practice once every week or every two weeks.  Of course, schedule whatever works best for you, but make it no less than once a month.  (An easy way to remember The Anniversary, is to schedule date night on the monthly anniversary of your wedding, for example.)
3. Schedule time for sex. Yeap.  You aren’t getting any, because you just have too many responsibilities.  Your career.  Keeping up with the house.  Tracking your 401Ks.  Answering e-mails.  Taking the kids to the doctor.  Taking your car for an oil change.  Calling back all those people that left voicemails.  Girls night out.  The basketball finals.  You schedule time for all of these things, why not schedule time for sex?  The anticipation can make it really exciting.  And if you’re afraid that spontaneity might not be there, think again.  You may not reach orgasm, but you will have time to find each other AGAIN under the sheets.  You should strive for this to happen as often as you’re comfortable with.
4. Surprise your partner. You know your spouse better than any other person.  You know their quirks.  You know those funny little things that make them happy.  Maybe your spouse loves pancakes, and you just happen to wake up early enough to make pancakes for them.  Or maybe it’s just a good book, or a funky gadget you had seen them oohing and aahing over.  This doesn’t have to be every day, or it will lose the surprise factor to it.  This is good to do about every other month.
5. Talk about what bothers you. This is perhaps the toughest thing to do, especially when we feel that our spouse is criticizing what we do or don’t do.  Before such thing happens, create an “escape” word.  Something that you know has nothing to do with your issues like “Darth Vader” or “Wolverine.”  A couple I met uses the word “popcorn”, and yet another one uses “Spongebob Squarepants”.  Whatever your word is, agree on it.  When things start getting heated, you can use it and that means “time-out.”  The important thing during the time-out is to take a deep breath, remember the wonderful things about your partner, and go back to your problem, and your problem only.  If you’re fighting over the toilet seat being up (or down or whatever), talk only about how it’s bothersome to have the toilet seat up, and don’t bring in how you felt so embarrassed when Aunt Julie almost got flushed away 3 months ago because the seat was up.  Simply state that it is very annoying to have the seat up, and that you would appreciate having it down.  Work towards compromise, which is easier said than done, but it’s possible.