Fix an Emotional Break Up

Can a break up be good for you? If it helps you to grow as a person, then we might be tempted to say yes. A break up can have an awful effect on you way beyond the hurt that you feel, your emotions are just part of it.

Most people, following a break up, will not only feel hurt, they will feel a great sense of loss, they will also feel rejected, confused, angry and even repentant – even if they did nothing wrong. They almost always suffer a loss of confidence, and they will go through some form of panic.

Your first thought is probably about how to get your ex back and with all this turmoil going on inside you, you find it difficult to formulate any kind of plan. Thinking logically is almost impossible when your emotions are running high, so what happens then is that you become driven by instinct.

Most often your instincts will be telling you to chase your ex. How else are you going to convince them to come back? You will then try to contact them on every possible occasion that you can, you will try to be in the same places that they are, you will call them, text them, leave messages with mutual friends for them. If I’m not contacting them, how can I get my ex back?

Every contact with your ex will end in an argument, no matter how hard you try to be civil and friendly, you are both way too emotional at this point for anything else. If you could think clearly, you would be able to see this for yourself, but you can’t.

Well, what would a really confident person do? Would they chase after their ex? Would they beg their ex to come back? Would they be following their ex or constantly trying to contact them?

I’d bet you said no to all of these questions, and for good reason. You know they wouldn’t. Confident people have an attractive quality, a kind magnetism, they don’t chase after people because others are naturally attracted to them.

If you want to get your ex back, you will have to regain your confidence and become a happy and more self-reliant person. You will never be able to do this while you are chasing after your ex.

Give yourself some time away from your ex, let everything cool down. By allowing some space between the both of you, you are essentially, allowing healing to take place. Whatever caused your break up wont be forgotten, but it will diminish as time passes, it will become less important, and if your ex sees that you have become much calmer, they will be more inclined to allow contact between you.

If you can express your confidence and happiness, even if you really don’t feel confident and happy, your ex will look on you in a totally different light. They may even start to remember what brought both of you together in the first place.

Either way, unless you and your ex can communicate in a calm and relaxed way, you will never be able to get your ex back. I’ve tried, in this article, to convince you that some time apart from your ex will be beneficial to you both, and that if you want to get your ex back, it is essential that you keep your distance until you are back in control again.

As a reward to yourself, just concentrate on the magic of making up, what it will feel like, and how confident and happy you will be when you finally get your ex back. Visit the Relationship Fixed blog for some more answers.