Foundations That Strengthen Marriage

Just recently, the world was shocked or perhaps intrigued by the announcement of former US Vice-President Al Gore that he and his wife Tipper are calling it quits after more than 40 years of “fairy-tale-like” marriage. No one could just easily believe that such a wonderful marriage, which, at one time even inspired a romantic novel could one day, come to such a sad end. This is absolutely in contrast to the many stories of old couples being seen walking hand-in-hand along malls and churches, appearing like models of marital success.

            Maybe most of married couples, if not all, desire a lasting and happy marriage. There could be a very little room for doubt about that. Something, that can fit into the fairytale stories of “living happily ever after”, or to phrases like “forever is not enough” and “perfect match made in heaven”. In reality however, they are simply superfluous if not overly romantic. In fact, it is entirely different. Individual psyche plays a great role in any kind of relationship, more particularly in marriage. One author even opined that marrying a person, is just short of sharing your bed, your house, your food and eventually, even your body to a total stranger. While such statement could be ridiculous at one point, in some sense, it behooves everyone to give it some consideration before jumping into marriage.  Entering into the marital state is literally “tying the knot”, and in the Christian point of view, it is a knot that can never be undone nor loosened up when the bond becomes uncomfortable or even painful in the future.

            There are basic foundations that are highly necessary to strengthen the bond of marriage from the beginning, and all throughout the couple’s earthly life. First among them is Honesty. Any relationship that is built on total transparency from the very start, stands firmer than any other based on concealed facts about one’s personality, significant experiences, and even personal goals. Giving oneself in marriage is after all, a total gift of oneself encompassing one’s past and predicaments either positive or negative to the future partner. And this is supposed to go on, till the end. There should be no mysteries. The couple’s total transparency to each other is a sincere gesture of total commitment, and a means with which the partners will be able to accept each other wholeheartedly for what and who each maybe is. While of course, day to day life in marriage necessitates innovation and some element of surprise in the way each may desire to give joy to the other, secrecy in matters highly essential in marriage like feelings, pains, dissatisfaction or joy should never be given way.