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Free Porno Movies and Erotica: Its Effect on Relationships

The explosion of free pornography and Erotica on the Internet has a negative impact on real-life relationships. Here’s what it can lead to and what to do about it…

This article is not intended to take a moral stance on the viewing of pornographic movies and other materials.  Rather, the goal is to point out the inescapable negative consequences on relationships and point toward possible solutions.

For the most part when we discuss pornography and erotica, the users are primarily men. The overwhelming majority of women are disinterested or even find porn repulsive. Certainly though, there are female erotica users and female porno addicts. And, of course, there are female casual users who view it regularly with their husbands. But it’s that basic difference between the sexes- most women not appreciating porn and most men appreciating it a little too much- that can result in at least some of the problems: the female doesn’t want porn in her man’s life, he sneaks, feels guilty and so on.

Porno can provide a powerful, arousing, sexual experience for most men and few of them will believe porno viewing is a negative thing, at least initially. The problematic component arises when viewing porno, usually while masterbating, interferes with sexual functioning in a real-life relationship. Or when it interferes in some way with the relationship’s continuity, causing the real life partner to exit the relationship or restrict sexual activity, thus both isolating the addict and reducing the quality and availability of real-life sex to the addict. This interference occurs in several ways:

  • The desensitizing effects of porno causing the loss of sexual interest in a real life sex partner
  • The desensitizing effects of porno (or guilt from using it) causing a form of impotence in men when even extreme forms of porno no longer create sexual interest
  • The desensitizing effects of porno causing deviant sexual behavior the real life partner finds repulsive
  • The desensitizing effects of porno causing increasingly promiscuous behavior, sometimes resulting in disease(s) sexually transmitted to a real life partner
  • The addict hiding the porno materials and the porno viewing from the partner, telling lies to cover it and getting caught, leading to the loss of the relationship
  • Decreased interest in foreplay and increased interest in “get down to business” porn-movie-type sex

Obviously any one of the above conditions and situations, or any combination of them, can diminish or destroy a love relationship. And all of the above were serious problems in many relationships when pornography was less widely available. Today movies stream 24/7 for free on the Internet and not surprisingly, unprecedented levels of patients are being seen with porno related problems at the clinical level, with problems that include destroyed relationships, divorce and impotence.

Pornography and even erotica can be extremely addictive, with the addict needing increasingly bizarre forms of it over time, to achieve the same satisfaction. As the problem progresses the addict becomes desensitized and begins to lose interest in normal sex. For example: one-on-one missionary position sex with his average looking wife isn’t that interesting to a husband after masturbating while viewing ten super attractive women having extreme sex in an orgy video. He may begin to seek out sex outside the marriage and bring home a little present on his penis such as syphilis or genital warts. This gift is rarely viewed by the wife in quite the same light as a box of candy or a bottle of perfume.

Sometimes the addict will begin to imitate viewed behaviors. Perhaps he’ll begin to pleasure his wife in new ways and perhaps his wife will even enjoy it at first. But as his appetite for deviation from the norm increases, at some point she may refuse further advances in that regard leaving the relationship’s future less secure as the man is almost surely going to seek out other outlets to satisfy his perverting desires. Or the addict may eventually progress into extremely weird or illegal behavior such as pedophilia, prostitution or bestiality, obviously not a good direction for a normal, legal, relationship’s longevity!

If you or someone you’re involved with are experiencing any of the negative consequences of porn viewing, the only “cure” if you will, is to stop viewing it. Eventually the symptoms may subside as the brain reverses the desensitization process. But note that some symptoms may be irreversible and require ongoing treatment. And certainly, like any addiction, the addict may need to seek professional help if they lack the willpower to stop on your own.

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