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Friends and Friendship

The different levels of friendship, and how to make and keep friends.

Friendship is a relationship between two or more people in which the parties involved share companionship, affection, fellowship, interaction and common values.

This article aims to describe the different broad levels of friendship and also to advise you on how to keep your friends.

Levels of Friendship

The Romantic

This defines a love relationship between two people of different sexes .It could be a relationship between husband and wife, between a young man and woman in courtship or simply between two lovers. I term this type of friendship exclusive .This is because a third party is ideally not allowed to share in the intimacy enjoyed by the individuals in this relationship. The intrusion of a third party causes problems and one of the two is accused of being unfaithful.

In this type of relationship, there is ultimate emotional and physical unity .The level of intimacy is such that the two persons psychologically have one soul .A physical manifestation of the intimacy is sexual intercourse. If something happens to one of them, it will automatically affect the other.

“Normal” Friendship

I call the relationship “normal” because when friendship is mentioned, this category readily comes to mind. Here, friends could be of the same sex or different sexes. However, majority are usually of the same sex

. Friends of this type usually hang out together, go to school together, go to parties together, and visit one another frequently. They sometimes form cliques to keep others out of their circles of friendship. They share ideas and are usually there for one another.

“General” Friendship

This group includes people like colleagues, acquaintances, neighbors, classmates, church members etc. This is the lowest rung of the hierarchy of friends. A lot of people sometimes call their acquaintances friends in a loose manner.

Typically, guy will introduce his colleague at work or in the office as a friend. Yet, they may not even know where each other live.

While it is true that colleagues share some of our time, the relationship may just be formal. However, some take time out to know each other.

The same scenario occurs amongst neighbors. Some neighbors do not even exchange greetings, whereas some eventually become family friends and exchange gifts during important celebrations like birthdays, child christening, Christmas, New Year and other festivities.

Church members share time together. They worship in the same atmosphere, but for the majority, the companionship ends with the church service.

It should however be noted that with time, some “general” friends can become normal friends and some “normal” friends of the same sex can graduate to the Romantic.

How to Make and Keep Friends

It is a common saying that to attract friends, be a friend. You can do the following things to make and keep your friends.

Be likable

By this, I mean you should radiate a positive aura. You should be at peace with yourself and with the world.

People are attracted to happy personalities; those who make them feel good.

If you often wear a smile and do not blubber about how hard the world is, people will naturally be attracted to you.

If you have an optimistic disposition to life, you will attract people who would be encouraged and find life worth living.


Giving is a basic symbol of friendship. If you love a fellow person, giving to him or her should be natural to you. The gifts do not have to be expensive .Gifts can be given as often as convenient. When you give a friend a gift, he or she feels appreciated and would always like to be around you.


This is also a form of giving but in this case, the gifts may not be physical. True friends share both happy and sad moments. You should be happy when your friend is doing well and encourage him when he or she is not doing so well.

In Conclusion

You can do many more things to make and keep friends .The list is endless .Just make the golden rule your guide. “Do to others what you would want them to do to you”. If every one follows this rule, then the world will be a better place. And every one would be a friend to every one else.

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User Comments
  1. Tosin

    On February 11, 2008 at 8:54 am

    I like the simplicity of the article.

  2. Segzy

    On February 13, 2008 at 5:36 am

    I like the article with the simple and clear method it is written.Good work.

  3. Tola baby

    On February 23, 2008 at 4:07 am

    Niyi, whatz up, When did you turn into an adviser?Any way , it’s a nice write-up.

  4. Wolly

    On February 27, 2008 at 2:53 am

    You forgot to write that when you have money , you attract a lot of friends but if you don’t, you’re likely on your own.It’s all about the benjamins.

  5. Sam

    On March 6, 2008 at 8:14 am

    Wonderful piece of writing

  6. Lolly

    On March 10, 2008 at 7:16 am

    If we all learn to one another, war and crises would be averted

  7. Lolly

    On March 10, 2008 at 7:22 am

    If we all learn to be friends with one another, war and crisis would be averted

  8. Johnbull

    On March 14, 2008 at 2:59 pm

    “There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother”

  9. Tai

    On March 17, 2008 at 11:11 am

    your article is refreshing

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