Get More Dates Using Emotional Intelligence

Is emotional intelligence important in working out what women want and giving it to them? You betcha, if you want to date when and where you want.

Just as work surveys show again and again that people primarily get fired over emotional issues, the same abrasive personality that gets you moved on from your job will rarely get you anywhere with the ladies.

That girl you’ve got your eye on in the bar will certainly talk to you based on your looks and grooming, but will lose interest PDQ if you lack the respect and listening skills she’s looking for.

She wants to know you find her fascinating in the extreme, and if all she gets is sarcasm and interruptions, she will know you don’t want to be a planet to her sun and fire you off into a black hole before you even got warm.

So what can you do to develop your EQ? Get with the program:

EQ1: Learn to Listen

Most of us would call ourselves good listeners. After all, we manage to meet targets at work, fix up the house and our golf handicap is improving – none of that would happen without paying attention, right?

But examine how many times in a day you really let someone finish what they need to say before you jump in, or mentally make conclusions about what they mean before they actually come right out and say it. How often do you start speaking the exact second the other guy stops, without truly digesting what they said?

These bad habits are products of a hurried lifestyle and often the only way we can get to the point as quickly as we need, to get through the demands of the day. But with a woman, this constant over-anticipation and assumptions about her will simply turn her right off. You will cut your chances of a date to zero almost instantly.

In those first crucial minutes where she decides if you’re interesting or not, the only questions you should be asking are for clarification purposes only. The rest of the time you need to be really, deeply listening to her and getting a handle on her personality so you can plan the next step of your approach.

Pushy and aggressive is old fashioned sales; study the best performers in both work and play and you will see they always listen carefully before making their own pitch. They have respect and don’t interrupt.