Getting the One You Love Back: Part 2

Yet, in the back of your mind you cant help but wonder when the next spark will cause an explosion! So we have to get ready to rebuild! Its not going to be easy, but lets start with a few of the basic “band-aids” to patch up those nasty wounds.

First you have to sit down and agree to keep the fights clean. No hitting below the belt, no throwing stones, no illegal weapons. By saying this I simply mean, keep the arguments about what they are about. If your fighting about your significant other not doing the dishes, lets not bring up all the other things the person has done in the relationship to make it hard. Its about the dishes, keep it clean. Discuss how you can resolve these problems. Don’t create more problems. To forgive someone for something they did, truly forgive, you have to let go. This is what I call keeping it clean.

No hitting below the belt or illegal weapons. This simply refers to cussing, name calling, and of course physical contact.  The first person to lay a hand on someone loses the discussion. It proves that you cannot win by your point of view, or words, and you go to the last resort. Try to leave the stones on the ground. If they start flying, they will only come faster and harder. Then the discussion goes from you didnt clean the dishes, to your whole family is nothing but a worthless bunch of slobs. You really loose focus and just cause more internal damage.

Its not easy to discuss problems in a civil manner, but if you see the conversation getting heated and the stones start to fly you have to know when to simmer down. Collect yourself and tell your partner “we need to just relax, sit and talk”. Tell them you love them and you don’t want to resort to name calling. Relax.

So just to recap, keep it clean, keep it real, and keep it love. Its so much easier said than done. However, you will find the end result alot more satisfying than cutting deeper wounds. This is the first step in rebuilding, or the first step in a more healthy, wound free relationship.

The next article will be about the actual repairing of wounds, but insuring wounds are never created is the best method to living a happy, healthy, and loving relationship.