Getting Value From Online Dating

Why do the couple pictured on my preferred dating site log in page always portray the wholesome beautiful woman and the loving gorgeous boyfriend who have been lucky enough to hook up from the day they paid for their £29.95 ticket to love? I believe its seriously spoiling my chances considering that I’m more ‘curvy’ than ‘slim’ and my teeth don’t match my white blouse (wholesome woman is always wearing a white blouse). Why is it never fishpacker who’s just got her 7lbs badge at Weightwatchers? Or plumber proudly displaying his heavily tattooed arms which cost him a fortune and he had to get done in stages so he could still afford the pub as well?

So as I log on to see who’s winked at me or looked at my profile (oh let me guess, will it be someone easygoing, with a good sense of humour who likes most things in life? I’ve never had one of them before), it’s with mixed emotions as I look back at my online dating history. I’ve learned a lot about people in general since I started this game back in 2004. I was a hopeful single mum who had brought up a daughter and consolidated a career and found myself lacking in the relationship department. So I posted my witty profile to show the real me except I couldn’t because when it came to describing my build I had a drop down box with choices of slim, toned, curvy, cuddly or over weight. I was and always have been over weight but toned, in proportion and pretty but I could feel the computer whispering ‘pick one, fatty’. So I pick curvy because I’m too self conscious to pick overweight and think my chances will be seriously limited. Lying already.

Then the posting of the photo, carefully taken about 40 times with the mobile phone, with full makeup. So I post the best one, feeling slightly anxious that it looks great because it doesn’t resemble me one bit, but tell myself it’s ok because it’s recent and people post photos from five years ago. Still lying. And so has been the drill in between short lived relationships and intermittent dating.

So where are we going with this you might ask? Well it’s this, which I’ll explain after I’ve replied to Knightinshiningarmour 3654 who’s asking for another photo before he’ll enter into an exchange of e-mails. He says it’s nice to get a real sense of who he’s talking to, but really it’s because he’s read ‘curvy’ and the alarm bells are ringing. I’ve been around long enough to understand the etiquette.