Handling Emotional Love Affair
by Connected to someone else while still married or involved with someone else is as good as having physical intercourse with the one with which you are connected and it is a great disservice to the one you are married to or involved with.
Trying to look for an appropriate title for this piece was really challenging, not because I was trying to postulate something that was from out of space but rather something we all know and a lot of us ignore or do not want to address or choose not to ‘go there’.
This is something that has become popular among young married folks which do not hold any good outcome for the practitioners of this act. In trying to drive home this issue I decided to use a real life story of a couple whose identity I promised not to reveal therefore I changed their names and the city where they are based.
Titilayo and Kelvin were really happy or so we were meant to believe. Their marriage was MADE IN HEAVEN. While Kelvin is a busy corporate professional doing well for himself, Titilayo on the other hand abandoned her law degree to follow her childhood passion of being a fashion designer which also paid off for her. If you are not really observant you would hardly know something was wrong with their marriage.
Kelvin has a female colleague in the office and the relationship in all honesty is a professional one but, gradually Titilayo began to notice that the attention she used to get was gradually fading away. He would rather share things with the female colleague, lets call her ‘Sandra’ than with Titilayo his beautiful wife, when he dresses up he is doing it for Sandra, when his phone rings and it Sandra there is this amazing smile that spreads all round his face such that even if he was angry it would dissolve the intensity of the rage.
In fairness to Kelvin, ‘he is not having an affair’ nor is he being caught in any compromising position with the female colleague or any other woman for that matter. But what then is the problem? Kelvin has started to have an ‘emotional relationship or affair’ with Sandra, such that he lives, and breathes Sandra. This portends a grave danger for his marriage to Titilayo such that if care is not taken, to address and confront the issue and not the person the marital relationship might be heading for the rock.
There are several marriages and relationships that the people involved are engaged in fighting unseen enemies, who do not even appear on the scene as a threat to your relationship but if you are not strategic you might be on your way out of a relationship that holds the potential to be great.
In fighting for what is yours, please be strategic, fight for your heart by making use of your head. You will succeed.
9 Key indicators you are having an Emotional Love Affair.
1) When you always look forward to him/her calling you up for lunch during your day. You feel something was missing when he/she does not show up for lunch or does not ask if you would go for lunch.
2) When you always ‘die’ to get a phone call from him/her, and the feelings of rejection you feel when his/her call does not call.
3) When you are dressing up from home for him/her. When you can’t wait for his/her compliments on what you are wearing.
4) The feeling of disappointment you get when it looks like he/she does not even notice what you are wearing or are not in the mood to pass the compliment you are dieing to hear.
5) When this special smile radiates from your face when you are on the phone with this person.
6) When you can’t receive a call from this person without looking somewhere private to talk.
7) When your spouse compliment do not really mean much to you compared to what you hear from this ‘special’ person.
8) When whatever your partner do or don’t does not make any difference. Attention and compliments are natural needs of men and women especially women but when your spouse compliments do not strike any thing special in you then something is gone awry.
9) When whether your spouse calls you or not in the course of your day does not matter.
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