Relationships are never boring. I always enjoy speaking engagements where male / female relationships will be discussed. It’s often a hot topic. When many of the men are asked what they want in a companion, looks, are the first thing that comes out of their mouths. And, sometimes, it’s the only thing, that comes out of their mouths. They want a beautiful woman. What man doesn’t?

For many women … it’s money! They want a man who is financially stable, or preferably, rich. An ATM man.

I would rather have a good man, as opposed to a good-looking man, who wasn’t any good. It’s like shopping for a car, and choosing the best-looking car on the lot, without knowing if the car itself is a good vehicle. Or, in some cases, not even caring if the car is any good. I just love the way it looks!

News Flash …

Knowing what’s on the inside matters most. Look under the hood, kick the tires. Regardless of how great the outside looks, if the engine is no good, what good will that car do you? Yet, many people still choose cars, and needless to say, mates, with the same mentality. Many choose looks, time and time again. Over substance.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a mate, who is good-looking. Or rich. However, it is something wrong with it, if it is a requirement. You could miss out on a great mate, by not looking past the exterior. Or, the wallet. We can’t all be good-looking and rich. Being a great human being, a good person, should trump looks. And money. It’s not how a person looks, but, how they are; that’s what counts!

Perfect Mate

I often hear, “I want the perfect mate.”

My response to this statement, “You will be forever single.” Why? Because the perfect mate does not exist. There is no such thing as the perfect mate. No one is perfect. We all have issues and flaws. We are often disappointed due to setting the bar so high. Oftentimes, we are also unrealistic.

My Advice

See with your heart. Not with your eyes. The heart is wiser than the eyes. It’s also wiser than the head. Seek to find a mate who has integrity, intelligence, a great heart. One who will love and cherish you. A sense of humor is always great, too. Seek someone who will accept you for who you are, not who they would like you to be.

I Can Change …

Another big mistake that is often made … Thinking that we can change someone. We can’t. Accept people for who they are. If you go into a relationship, or marriage, with thoughts and hopes of changing your mate, you will be very disappointed. No can do! It won’t happen. Can an individual change? Absolutely. However, it’s totally up to that individual and no one else. The only person who can change Michelle Cole, is Michelle Cole.

No Crutches, Please!

Please do not enter a relationship thinking that the other person completes you. You are a whole person. One, is a whole number. It is very important that you are a happy, confident individual, before entering into a relationship. If you are not, being in a relationship isn’t going to change that. You cannot find happiness in anyone else. It all starts, and ends, with you!

Happy dating! The next time that you lay eyes on your companion, smile, and say, “Hello, Mate!”