High Tech Affairs: The Intrigue and the Reality

In this high-tech age we don’t need much other than our computer. From that one little technological box we can order food, along with anything else, pay bills, find houses and love.40 million adults are said to be using online dating services. Wow! And the online dating industry is growing. It seems so much easier to relate to someone you meet on the internet. Why is that? You can easily relate, unload, and relax without pressure. Which may be why so many married or committed people often seek these online relationships on the side.

As we know, the term “cheating” is defined differently by different people. It can be kissing, imagining,  or sex. Some do not believe its cheating if it is just sex and no feeling attached. And so if it is not physical and purely by dialogue or casual flirting with someone through the online dating realm; is it cheating?

It starts innocently enough, surfing the internet after a hard day at work and then coming home to the demands of a family. Then it happens. You meet someone who intrigues you. Opposed to the wife or husband in the other room, this person is new, different, and doesn’t order you around or put expectations on you. The two biggest causes of divorce are communication and financial problems. Those that follow are failed expectations or unmet needs. With a chat room there are no put downs, demands, or nagging. The person on the other computer is not constantly pressuring you to make more money, take out the trash, telling you that you let them down constantly or that you need to spend more time at home. It is a blank screen staring back with you, with infinite possibilities. Thrilling really; not to know whose on the other side or who you will meet. Just as with first dates, the online chatting world is simply the best side shown of a person. Just as you log on in hopes of detoxing from the day, so do they.Then before you know it, it becomes a habit. And then what started innocently turns into a heated affair. But what is wrong with that? It’s not really cheating right?

I am sure that if most, myself included, discovered that my husband(or wife) were having an online affair with someone it would be just as hurtful as a real affair. I would be hurt that my husband ,rather than spending time with me or talking to me, would be doing so with another woman(or man). As mentioned, one of the number one reasons for divorce is communication problems. What is an online affair if not solely communication? And yet it is so much more easier to converse with a total stranger than that person sitting on the sofa next to us.