How Can My Ex and I Get Back Together

Can my ex and I get back together? Well, this depends on a number of things – largely, just how did it end? Was it civilised, or were things thrown and tongues poked out? Provided that the insults you were thinking were not actually uttered, by either partner, you definitely stand a better chance than if pettiness prevailed. Even so, had things become a little twisted verbally and provided you didn’t become too imaginative in your slinging, there is often still room for reconciliation.

Having said that, there is one negative element of relationship break-ups, that is often not realised until it is too late. This culprit is the dreaded “advice from friends”. Eeek! Yes indeed, well meaning friends have often been the death knell for  possible reconciliations. There are of course a number of variables here and this generally comes down to, how “good” is the good friend’s advice. Let us first presume, that everyone you know, has been through the grief of a break-up, so they have at least some idea what it’s all about.

Well meaning friends, should they be lucky enough to be in a stable and loving relationship, really have no idea, just what you are going through. This is human nature – very short memories when things are going their way. Sort of like hang-overs, most adults have had this experience, but do you really think they have the slightest sympathy when you are under the weather? Of course not. And will their own experience prevent them from doing so again? ‘course not. Therefore, their previous experience with their own break-ups of magnitude, is a vague memory. Be polite, then politely ignore their advice.

Then there are the friends who are still raw from their most recent break-up themselves. You will probably find that you are getting advice from them, about solutions that they “should” have implemented themselves. Or some ideas that are just so fanciful as to be ridiculous. Then again, there may well be some lingering bitterness too, so this advice may be somewhat skewed. Be polite, then politely ignore their advice.

There are of course some “friends”, that just cannot help themselves from giving shitty advice. This could arise from competition for your ex, jealousy, or just sheer spite. Such wonderful pearls of wisdom as: making your ex jealous – honestly, this only works in the movies. Hopefully, you won’t be duped by this type, but then, you’re vulnerable – so be careful. Be polite, then politely ignore their advice.

Let us not ignore the “would be friends”. These people will tell you anything you want to hear, just to get in your good graces. Flatly ignore these creatures.

The friends you really want advice from, are those – who refuse to do so, but will be your sounding-board and give you all the support you can eat. These people will listen carefully, giving their thoughts on the matter and some examples from their own lives, but no advice as such. This is your support group. These one’s are keepers.

It would also pay to be a little wary of your own advice, too. Often, in the throes of trying to get the ex back, our reasoning is not all that flash. So do keep in mind just what your objective is. If you start bed hopping, or making a fool of yourself whilst getting drunk with your “well meaning” friends, be aware of what it is you are advertising about yourself. Is this how you would have acted when you and the ex were one. These things will reflect on you, and when you least expect it, will probably bite you on the arse. Making yourself attractive, in the way that made your ex fall in love with you to begin with, not some club-crawler – is how you and your ex can get back together.