How Not to Do a Long Distance Relationship

In every relationship there has to always be an element of give and take and it has to be of equal value from both people in the relationship. It doesn’t matter if the reationship is a straight, gay or lesbian one, the principal remains the same.
However things become a little more difficult when the relationship becomes a long distance one. If the relationship started as a long distance one then maybe its not so bad as you both learn from the off that you have to both try to keep it alive.
When one moves away you may be in the situation that I am currently in. Coping with the thought of your loved one is hard but with any luck you have a little more time than I did to get used to the idea and to prepare for the heart ache that follows. Maybe heart ache is a little to strong but it does hurt all the same.
The day your partner left for pastures new you probably spent the time time together and you probably both spent the time wishing that you didn’t have to be apart, however that was not the case with me. I did not even get to have a phone call the night before he left. All I got was a text.
After a couple of days I soon realise things had changed and I am still wondering if they are good changes or bad changes. I cant tell as I have practically only felt bad vibes more than I have had good ones. Yes I trust him one hundred percent and yes I love him more than anything but it does feel like I am the only making all effort to keep things together. It seems that unless I text, call or start the conversation on MSN I wont get any communication. Sometimes I don’t get anyting out of him even when I do start the conversation.
Before he moved texting and calling me whilst he was at work never seemed to be a problem but it seems that all of that has changed now. It seems that work has become more of a priority then our relationship. Yes I know that’s selfish and most of you probably think well yes he has to put work first. Yes, you are right, but there needs to be a balance and that balance is not being felt my end of the relationship.
Sending a text takes just a couple of minutes at most and I know he gets the time every now and then to send me a text or give me a quick call but I never seem to get one. I sometimes find myself wondering if he does love me or if he even thinks about me whilst I am at work. The thing that makes me wonder this most is the fact that hardly anyone at work knows who I am as he has said to most of them that he is gay. He wont even say on facebook that he in a relationship with me but wont tell me the reason.
This is not the best way to do a long distance relationship, let alone a regular relationship. Communication is key in anything and especially a relationship. Lack of it in a long distance one is only going to lead someone feeling like it is all one sided. The less communication there is the more likely that you are too drift apart and chances are someone is not going to notice this until its too late. One person can not keep a relationship alive and the person having too will only end up thinking all sorts of things and wondering how much they can trust the other.
If a long distance relationship is going to work then this is all going to have to change and it’s the same for anyone going through a similar situation. I am lucky we discuss this problem regularly and so things are improving, however if you are not discussing it and you don’t want to lose your loved one, you must force the conversation like I did.
It might just work out for the best and if it does not, then you know that the relationship was not the right thing to do and it’s time to move on.