I have abf that I want to break up with so bad but I dont want to hurt him.Part of the reason I want ot break up with him is because I like another guy soooooooo much!!! The thing is that this guy that I like, Tony is in 7th grade and im in eighth and if I go out with him I would get a lot of crap from people in my grade. Plus on top of that I would feel even worse for my bf,Jake because I partly dumped him for a 7th grader!!!! What should I do? HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its been short. I have been going out with my boyfriend for little over a month. But he’s crazy and really weird around my friends and does things that embarrass me. I used to be head over heels crushing on him, but I just don’t feel it anymore. Its to the point were I am about to graduate middle school and move onto high school, he is going to a different one. I want to burn bridges and get him out of my life. No friend ship ties. How do I do it? I should have done this when it started, but he was so sweet and I didn’t want to hurt him.

PLEASE HELP!

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Setting the scene, I was a few days short of 18 when I met him at work. The first real geniune guy I had met in a long, long time. I’ve spent my entire childhood being an adult, not wanting it, but actually living it. And it only made sense to continue that style of life. I turned 18, senior year of high school had started, and Dustin and I began dating. He was 23 at the time. With a 2 and a half year old in tow.

I’ve spent my life raising kids, I’m the oldest of five, without a father figure and have always had a hand or two in the raising of my siblings. I’m reliable, dependent, indepentent, a free thinker. I’ve always been the type of person to be motivated, to lend a helping hand. I’m the adult stuck in the body of a child and it’s ok.

Fast foward to graduation, a month or so later I’ve moved out to another city 600 miles away from home and I’ve started my life with this guy. He’s my absolutely everything, still. And we’re perfect for one another. It’s my freshman year in college and I’m balancing maintaining a relationship with family, working full time, 22 credits, and maintaining a home. We had our little apartment, big enough for the two of us and shelter for all of our love.

Suffocation might be a good term, if it was intentional. Isolation is probably another great one. I spent a year of my life in that one bedroom apartment letting our love grown. I was the perfect homemaker, the perfect student, the perfect worker, the perfect girlfriend. And he was my everything.

Within that year I feel as though I digressed as a person.

And it was getting harder to be away from my family. From his daughter, and so we decided to move back home. Only, because of this current economic state, we’re trying to take advantage of the firsttime home buyers credit. This is fine and dandy, but I find myself in a new situation now.

Perhaps it’s being back home, getting the HS job, living in my parents garage for the time being, but I feel so, so, young. So un-adult like. And for the first time in my life, it feels ok. It feels good.

The problem is my boyfriends an old man. Or so it seems. There can be excuses given, poor scheduling, grave yard, fathering his kid, being at my parents house… but the truth of the matter is, we just don’t do anything. And in not doing anything I feel less and less motivated. Less and less happy. Less and less like the person I used to love to be. And at times I feel like it really is all his fault.

My real problem is, I want to be twenty. I want to live and experience things for the first time in my life that other people my age are doing. And I don’t feel like I can with him in tow. I also can’t ask him to put his life on hold so I can do these things.

My mother asked me if I wanted to do these things with him or not, and I really have to think. The answer in my head seems simple, no, I want to go out and be with this new friend I made at work. He’s my own age, and it has that potentional fun and exciting feeling. But then I counter this idea with my own indescivness because I feel like in the end of it all, I’m supposed to end up with Dustin. We’re supposed to be in our 60’s on rocking chairs watching our grandkids play. We’re supposed to buy this house and have everything work out just how it’s been planned. From A to B to Z. Everystep accounted for.

And I’m frustrated because I just want to shake things up! I’m scared to buy this house, even though I just put the bid on it. I’m scared I’m making the wrong move, the right move, the move that will leave me unhappy in the end of it all, but I don’t know what to do.

Do I like this new guy simply because he’s the first person to show interest in two years? Is it the fact that I’m doomed to jump from relationship to relationship looking for that newness factor? I don’t want to throw away a perfectly working relationship to test the waters? But I feel like I have to know.

I’ve tried talking to Dustin, but it doesn’t seem to do much good. I still find myself wanting to talk to this other guy, to see him. And it seems innocent at first, but then when I’m with him I feel like that person I used to be. That person that I miss and love. And I light up. Maybe it’s a starting over point, but how do I take that leap of faith? And more importantly what do I do about Dustin?

Hey sorry I don’t feel the same way anymore, or at least I think I don’t. I don’t want to buy this house with you and I think I’ve fallen for someone else?
Or how about:
Hey I’m uncertain about things, about you, can you put your life on hold so I can go figure me out?

It just doesn’t seem fair. And regardless of which way it goes, someone is going to get hurt.

I’m lost, confused, and 19 again.