How to Break Up with Your Lover Graciously

There is definitely some true to the old saying that “breaking up is hard to do.”

The actual act of breaking off a relationship is never a fun experience. In fact, it can be downright hellish. However, sometimes it is absolute necessary, cannot be avoided and should not be delayed.

How you should break up with a lover depends in large part on the status of the relationship as it nears its end. Your first concern should, of course, be your safety. Beyond that, how you proceed with a break up depends on whether you would like to remain friends with your future former lover, whether you expect to have frequent contact with him after the break up and whether you believe there is even a remote possibility that you may want to ever reconcile with this person in the future.

The decision to break up with someone is not one that should be taken lightly. Likewise, when breaking up with a lover you need to stay mindful of the fact that you are dealing with a real human being who has feelings, and it is imperative that you make the process as tactful and minimally painful as possible, and that you do it in a manner that allows your future ex to maintain their dignity. Chances are that you will someday be on the receiving end of a break up. Treat your ex the way you would want to be treated.

Break Up No-No’s

Do not break up with your spouse or lover via postal mail, email, fax, instant message, text message or courier. I cringe every time I read about a celebrity breaking up with their steady via Federal Express or text message. Don’t even think about having a friend (or anyone else) deliver the bad news for you. This is tacky, insensitive and inconsiderate. Muster the nerve to meet with the person you are breaking up with and do it face-to-face.

If you just cannot handle a face to face meeting, call the person on the telephone-landline please; you do not want your cell phone to drop a call at a time like this-and tell them as honestly and kindly as possible that you are unable to be in a relationship with them at this time.

If your need for catharsis or your desire to not communicate with your almost ex has you bound and determined to break up in writing, be careful what you write because the printed or electronic document you produce may come back to bite you some day. It could potentially end up as part of a police report, as evidence in court or even on the Internet.