How do you get rid of someone you don’t want to date anymore? Sometimes, simply telling a person just isn’t enough. Try one of these suggestions:

1. Say, as softly as you can, “I can’t go out with you tonight. My boyfriend has been in prison for GBH, and he gets released today.”
2. Tell someone who keeps calling you that you are having trouble with obscene phone calls and the police are interviewing everyone who calls you at home and at work.
3. Girls, tell him that your friends think you are very well developed for a 14 year old.
4. Tell him, or her, that you would love to go out clubbing with them, but you are getting married on Saturday.
5. Pretend you don’t understand the language, shrug your shoulders, and walk away.
6. Just say “Yes, I’d love to go out with you, can my boyfriend (girlfriend) come too?”
7. Smile pleasantly and say, “Sorry, I only date members of my own species.”
8. Express your regret by saying, “Sorry, I can’t make it tonight. I just got engaged to the guy (girl) I’ve been two-timing you with.”
9. “I’d love to go out with you tonight, but I have to bath my cat.”
10. Take your date out to a crowded place and lose them. Then call them and dump them for abandoning you!

I prefer excuse number 9, but I don’t have a cat, so it’s in no danger of being bathed, before all you cat people out there point out the error of my ways!