How to Escape From an Abusive Relationship

Many women become stuck in abusive relationships that take them years to escape from both physically and emotionally. There are several reasons why we get stuck and can’t escape from these relationships no matter how hard we try. Often we are either too young to know better or have not yet faced certain realities about life and our selves.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Read everything you can find on how to build your self-image.
2. Examine your beliefs. Do you need to change some of them before you can let go of the relationship?
3. Talk to a professional if you are nearing your edge.
4. Write about what is happening to you this will help to improve your control.
5. Abuse is not always obvious. Define what you consider to be abusive. See if you can get confirmation on this.
6. Read relevant books and articles on independent, critical thinking. Memorize the messages that make you feel powerful or give you more insight into your behavior.  
7. Build your independence by doing things yourself. Get out of the habit of asking people to do things for you that you can do for your self.
8. If possible start saving, you will need cash for your first few months on your own. If you don’t have a job, do everything possible to find one.
9. Decide how long you can put up with abusive behavior before you can exit with a clear conscious.
10. Determine what makes it so difficult for you to leave. Do you feel sorry for the abusive person? Do you think you can’t make it on your own?
11. Learn about meditation, this will help you to calm down, be more objective and teach you to stay in the present.
12. Exercise – it will make you feel more in control.
13. Determine if you want to change and be independent or stay dependent.
14. See if you can’t get away from the situation for a few months to build your inner resources.
15. Accept the situation as one that you got yourself into and only you can get yourself out of.
16. Face your life. Don’t try to escape by denying reality.
17. Before you ask for advice on making a decision see if you can’t make the decision yourself.
18. Before you ask a friend or colleague for information see if you can find it yourself. Remember, to become independent you have to become independent in a thousand little ways first.  
19. Learn how to stay in the present.
20. Get involved with anything that distracts your mind from thinking of the abusive person.
21. Think twice before starting a new relationship.
22. Take stock, enjoy and love your freedom!