How to Get Along with Your Mother-In-Law

Just mention the word “mother-in-law” and many wives will cringe as they consider their own experiences. Some women are reluctant to share the limelight with their son’s wives and as a result, they do not get along with them. But wives can do much to enhance the relationship with their mother-in-law. Here are some ways in which this can be done.

Ask for some advice!

The stereotypical mother-in-law will dish out minute advice about such issues as how to wash dishes, fold towels and chop onions correctly. She will also watch as her daughter-in-law cooks and say that the meat is too tough, rare or just not right. The vegetables are too soggy and the coffee is too strong.

The list goes on. One thing that a daughter-in-law can do is try to develop a thick skin and not take these assaults personally. They are not the same as insults, but they can easily feel like assaults against everything she knows she can do. She can also nod and smile sweetly as she actually asks for advice. This is often unexpected, as the mother-in-law listens in amazement.

I have tried this and it works. I have looked around for genuine jobs that I need to be done, such as taking care of home refurbishment and have asked for advice on what to do. The result is often instant. The mother-in-law will be thrilled that she is “needed” and the daughter-in-law will be happy to have a focus for her mother-in-law’s advice to be channeled into.

Arrange for 1-1 time with your husband

One of the greatest fears that many mothers-in-law have is that their married sons will not have as much time to spend with them as they used to. Wives can help to allay these fears by actually arranging for their husband to spend time alone with their mother. They can then use that time to themselves to spend in any way they choose. The end result is usually gratitude and appreciation from the mother-in-law. She will often relax and see the wife more as a friend and ally, rather than as the “other woman”.

Share memories

The mother-in-law has something that wives do not. She has the key to her son’s childhood and other features in his past. That means that mothers-in-law are a wealth of information concerning childhood antics, adventures and so forth. It is a good idea to tap into this source and see what you can find out about your husband. I have done this and have spent hours leafing through old photo albums and by asking questions. Mothers-in-law are not all bad! They are usually very willing to talk of their son and how proud they are of him.

Treat your husband well

It does not matter how far you have come in building up a relationship with your mother-in-law, you will ruin it in an instant if you mistreat your husband in any way. That means refraining from sharing the intimate details of arguments, as well as avoiding more serious issues such as cheating and lying. A mother will automatically defend her son over the wife, even if he is partly to blame. She will not want to see the worst in her son, but her daughter-in-law will be under attack.

Some daughters-in-law have done all they could to improve their relationship with their mothers-in-law, but were unsuccessful. It is not easy to win everyone over. If they are unwilling to co-operate, then do your best to remain cordial and get on with your life with your husband. If she does not live near you, then this will be easier to do. Smaller doses often work much better for some women who cannot get along with their mother-in-law for more prolonged periods of time.