How to Get Over a Break-Up

Break ups are basically an inevitable thing when it comes to dating.  Dating is basically trial and error to find the person that works with you best.  Marriage, or even simply a long term relationship if often not just about love and everything that goes along with it.  A crucial aspect is how you both get along.  Is there respect?  Do you have the same goals?  Do you better the other person in life, in general?  These are just a few examples of things  to consider when it comes to dating someone.  However, sometimes we wind up with people who don’t work out for us.  The relationship ends.  Now what?

1. Distractions, distractions, distractions.  Go out.  Join a class.  Take on a new hobby.  See your friends more.  Focus more on family or your work.  Get a pet.  There are tons of things you can do to distract yourself and stay busy.
2. Don’t refrain from meeting new people.  Surely you do not want to get right back into a relationship, but it doesn’t hurt to meet new people.  Friends are always good to have.  Sometimes knowing people is half the battle and is important for other aspects of life.  Network a little and just get known.  Have a good time getting to know others, and getting known yourself.  Don’t put up walls.
3. Don’t interact with your ex for a while.  This may be a distraction all on it’s own.  You need to stay away from this person.  Even if the break up was not bad, it’s going to be hard to just be friends right away.  Give it some time.  There is no set time as everyone and every relationship is different.  Let the other person know you want space, and want to give it as well.  Emotions are still raw, and time heals everything.  It’s good to get on your own feet before dealing with that person for a bit. 
4. Keep in mind the bad things about your ex; not just the good.  You’re going to think about them; lets be honest.  But once it’s over you’re going to focus on only the good, and then want to talk to the ex, see them, etc.  Make a list if it helps, of the bad things; the things that really hurt you during the relationship.
5. Refrain from beating yourself up.  Otherwise you won’t get over the ex.  Once you’re over them , you can then work to better yourself.  Don’t play the victim card.  No one is going to give you much sympathy.  It’s wrong to expect it, too.
6. Talk to someone if you need to.  If it was a bad breakup or whatever the case may be, and you’re feeling like you need to get some things off your chest, do it!  Talking frees up your mind.  But try not to over analyze issues.  The relationship is over.  Try not to think that another chance is coming.  It’s pointless thinking.

Learn from the relationships.  We all will have good and bad ones.  Take away with you the good and bad, and move on.  Dwelling on the past often gets us no where and nothing (except maybe a migraine).