How to Get Your Perfect Love Partner

There seem to be two dramatically different approaches to love relationships. On one hand you have the hopeless romantics who leave their brain on the love’s doorstep.  In the other corner there are the calculated and purely logical arrangements where the heart always comes second.

As it often happens the perfect solution lies somewhere in the middle.

The Logical Side

The hardest thing when it comes to having a successful and long-lasting relationship is actually knowing what YOU want. Not what is the current stereotype of love, but what makes you happy. Just because someone is a great catch for your best friend, does not mean you will make even a decent couple.

Spending some time researching your own dreams, and preferences can help you immensely later on:

1. Make a list of what you want from your partner
2. Make a list of what is unacceptable in a potential partner
3. Prioritize both lists from most important to least important qualities

Now it is quite important to understand that these wish lists are not supposed to be set in stone. Also you should try and evaluate which qualities are must haves and which are nice to haves, as well as which are deal breakers and which you could live with given enough points on the plus side of the list.

The big mistake many people make is drawing these lists while already being in a relationship. The idea here is that it is more of a preparation phase, which should influence your unconscious mind before you get involved with someone.

Knowing what you are looking for in a partner additionally means that you are not sending mixed signals. When you mind is focused your behaviour will reflect it. Rather than go from geek to rock star to footballer to doctor etc, just because you want to give everyone a chance focus on your ideals.

It does not mean that just because your list says A and the potential partner has B you should disqualify them immediately. On the contrary, knowing up front what might cause tension in a future relationship can be a great advantage and help you keep an eye on potential problems.

This will obviously be easier the less your list is based on physical attributes. There is nothing wrong in saying – ‘I want to be with a tall blond’, if you know your tastes that precisely good for you, however it might cause you unnecessary doubts when it does come to decision making time.

The Romantic Side

Now comes the actual love searching. And I cannot stress this enough, your list is a guide, a way to tweak your internal radar, not a shopping list or a check-list to be ticked off. Keep it in the back of your mind, but do not let it overwhelm you.

As you get to know the other person, don’t take your list too seriously. Even if they seem to have a quality on your ‘no-way’ list, maybe they tick all the boxes on the perfect side? Similarly, just because they have all but one item of the list is not a reason to dismiss such a partner.

Once you get together with someone this is the time when you should let your romantic and emotional side work. If you had done your logical homework right your intuition should be calibrated well enough not to let you down. At least 9 out of 10 times…

The Balancing Act

Obviously there is no silver bullet. People are made of quite a variety of different attributes and matching them all up to your “template” is almost impossible in one human being. As mentioned above, the aim of “the list” is to allow for reaching a higher level of self awareness and maybe even discovering things about you that might come as a surprise.

It might turn out that the handsome, blond party-animal actually has always been your friend’s type and you would rather fancy a brunette librarian…