Most of the time people get worried why their relationships do not last and even if they do, they manage the relationship instead of enjoying it. What I mean by managing is that there will always be situations of crisis in the relationship and the crisis moments always outweighs the good times. Is that so wonderful? Imagine going through life managing a relationship instead of enjoying it.

Well there are solutions to this but as it is said “Two captains can not be in the same boat” we all must have to realize that the two or more parties in a relationship must not be right at the same time. There must have to be room made for dialogue. When one’s suggestion does not fit, the other parties suggestion must have to be given a try and if it does not suite there expectation, then the next person’s suggestion will equally be tried. After trying both of the suggestions, they must be weighed and the suggestion with the better prospect will have to be taken.

There was a book I read concerning the power of synergy. Synergy means making multiple decisions work at the same time without having to loose out in any of them. In other to achieve synergy, simple principles that govern everyday life and relationship must have to be adopted. Assuming one is a supervisor in the office and he/she has an immediate task to accomplish in the office as a supervisor. He has to report to his/her boss concerning the situation at hand and equally has board meetings to attend. At the same period of time his/her mother falls sick and is hospitalized. He/She is the only one available to take care of his/her mother at that time. If he abandons his/her job and goes to take care of his/her mother in the hospital, he will definitely fall out with his boss and that might earn him a sack. In this kind of situation, synergy is adopted and this is done by understanding so that you can be understood. Yes, understanding so that you can be understood means showing the other individual that you are not selfish enough not to understand the situation at hand but by proper explanation you make the individual understand the fact that you know that this or that should be done at that time.

Then after that, you will now bring in your own predicament into the issue by explaining to the person why you can not be present or meet up to his/her expectation at that point in time. This has to be done with every measure of sincerity. Now even before you tell the person why you will not meet up, you have to outline other alternative that will solve the impending issue. Now it is left for the second individual to examine those alternatives and find them welcoming. This does not mean that you are weak or showing inferiority but it is maturity and responsibility. It will actually earn you respect. In the line of the example of the supervisor that has a hospitalized sick mother crashing with his/her job, I will say that the actual thing for him/her to do is to apply synergy by explaining to his/her boss and also providing alternatives to supplements his/her absence. Technology equally has to be adopted in making the power of synergy to work effectively. These days, you mustn’t be present physically to get things done or to attend a board meeting. Conference calls, online chat, phone conversation, video conferencing and so on can be applied. So such individual can be in the hospital taking care of his/her mother with is laptop and phone. He can actually issue instructions to his subordinates and also talk with is boss, attend board meetings on the phone with conference call and video conferencing as well as  getting feedback from his subordinates, fellow staffs and boss via the same means.

In the case of love relationship between a man and a woman, what we must all know is that there is a disparity in understanding between a man and a woman. It is just natural. A woman is more vulnerable that the man even in making decisions. Their vulnerability calls for critical understanding by the man. Women like to be given attention or to be listened to at the expense of whoever is with them be it man or woman. Now synergy can help a man work better with a woman by making her feel understood before making her know other suggestions he thinks that might work better. This can be done in 5 ways

1)      Listen: Always try to hear a woman out even when her point is out of point or old-fashioned. You have to know what they want, feel and think.

2)      Communicate: Proper communication is essential even in relationship. In case of a man and woman in an affair, you have to always communicate to the woman what you feel about issues and how you think they should be handled. Equally give room to hear what she thinks about those issues and let her give you her suggestions. Even if you will not take hers, at least hear what she has to say. This will build a strong tie and an atmosphere of trust between you and your partner.

3)      Respect: Show respect to your partner by listening to her, not taking her for granted, not discouraging her in issues you know is right and will be good for her, not criticizing her, being honest in your dealing with her as well as telling them how you want her to treat you by respecting you or be willing to walk away. Healthy love relationship should be a 50-50 thing. This means that if the percentage of love you have for your spouse and hers is weighed in a balance, both of them should be equal. This does not mean it should be the same at all times but make sure that your spouse to be, fiancée, girlfriend e.t.c, has some element of respect and feelings for you. At times you have to earn your respect by the way you treat her.

4)      Know when it is a healthy relationship: If you are hanging out with someone, you must know when it is healthy. Just because you care about someone does not mean that you should be in a relationship with him/her. She /He must not be abusive in anyway, be good to you, not controlling at all times, and be able to make you feel secure and happy. All times, it is not healthy to move into a relationship with someone who does not care about you or who abuses you always before people. If you are still short term partners, stop the relationship and seek for people that will appreciate you for who you are.

5)      Lighten up:  You must not be official or strict at all times with your partner. Lighten up occasionally and have fun with her and don’t feel you will be letting yourself down if you do so. Be her playmate and don’t feel shy to apply romance when necessary. Also make her happy by cracking jokes or teasing her from time to time.

6)      The power of gifts: Gifts pacifies the heart. It brings you favour and forgiveness when due. So always get good gifts for your boss, partner, father, child, mother, friend, e.t.c, not just during festive periods but during times you feel is appropriate to give them those gifts.

The explanation of this context is all embracing. It can be applied in any form of relationship. I wish you good luck as you exploit these points in handling your relationship life.