How to Have a Long Lasting Marriage

The real question is how to actually stay in a happy marriage and be happy, of course marriage is not like dating, it does move far beyond problems of where to go eat or how to get to the show on Friday. People today are coming from so many divorced homes it is hard to even spot if you are in a successful marriage until it is too late. Marriage statistics have been poised to show many different facts, for example some stats say living together for too long before marriage can cause new marriages to fail, and others show that living together without being married to long cause’s happy couples to separate. None show what it takes to make a happy marriage, or even how it is not the major issues that end relationships.

  So how do you know if you are in a truly happy marriage, or what issue will make or break your marriage.  The biggest misconception that has been told throughout history is that if someone is in control that is not happiness, and yet if you look at every long lasting relationship it would appear one person controls some parts and the other party controls the other parts. For example say the husband is good at paying the bills, taking care of the lawn, doing homework with the children, then that is where he should be focusing his control or contribution. The wife can then use her strong points where he is weaker making a complete circle. While this seems obvious being able to admit when you need help or that someone is stronger than you in a certain area can also be a pride issue. It is not easy for a man to watch his wife take out the trash week after week, although if he isn’t in the kitchen how does he know it is full.  

 That is why communication is the most important thing in having a happy marriage, not just talking with your spouse but knowing how to help your spouse understand you and for you to understand them. For example watching the news together and discussing something that doesn’t affect either one of you and having a friendly debate can be excellent way to get to understand how and why your spouse may come to a different solution than you. Often times it is the unimportant discussions that shed light on how to communicate with someone especially if it is something that you can disagree and then possibly see your spouse’s point of view. Everybody comes from a different background, which means sometimes anger; crying or some other emotion is what they try to show in order to get a point across because they do not know how to communicate. It is these marriages that have started out happy that eventually fail because neither spouse really knew what the other one wanted. It is easy to say well my spouse cheated on me, they were abusive, they didn’t help, or I just couldn’t trust them.  The first step to finding out about anyone is through communication, and the smallest talks are often the most important.