How to Keep Your Marriage Healthy

Work to make each other happy.

A healthy marriage is composed of two people who enjoy pleasing each other. Marriage partners should get their emotional, physical, and other needs satisfied by their mate. This requires both people to put the happiness and wellfare of the other ahead of their own. If either mate lets down in this area, the marriage will suffer before too long.

Do things together.

It is alright to have hobbies and interest that are not always shared by your partner. However, you need common ground as a couple to build a healthy marriage. Having children together is not enough common interest. Plan vacations that both of you can enjoy. Go out on a date at least a time or two per month and weekly is better. Learn to discuss each others goals and hopes and build them together. Have a home business that both of you can participate in to make a little money and use as a common hobby. Anything that ties your marriage up tighter is a good thing.

Discuss the big decisions before making them.

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Many couples appoint one partner to make the final call on a big decision. While this can be a good thing, the opinion of the other spouse must be given more than minor consideration. In fact, when the two of you disagree on a decision, each partner should get a turn at winning. If no decision can be reached, consider other options or delay the final choice until a compromise can be reached.

Set aside personal money for each spouse.

This may sound like an allowance, but in reality each partner deserves to know how much can be spent without consulting the other. By having personal funds, these monies can be spent at the discretion of the person without seeking permission or agreement. Larger items can be purchased by saving from this amount until enough has been accumulated. Doing it this way keeps either spouse from spending money needed for payments and household expenses. Early in the marriage, these amounts will often be small, but they can be increased as the couple becomes more financially secure.

A division of housework and caring for the children is a formula that needs a lot of attention to get it right. Sometimes one partner just has better skills in these areas. This should not be used as an excuse to force all of the work onto that spouse. Even if the work is not done perfectly, it should be shared. This will keep one of the partners from being continually to fatigued for other areas of life to be enjoyed.

Avoid ultimatums.

In any relationship, you need room to negotiate. Ultimatums leave no room for movement or discussion between the partners. You either have to take it or leave it. If the ultimatum is regarding a big issue in the relationship, it can become an area too large to overcome. By offering discussion rather than a “my way or the highway” approach, marriages can find their way through many difficult circumstances.

Treat each other with respect and kindness.

When you belittle or humiliate your spouse, you are also taking some prestige away from your own life, too. You picked the person. If they are really a stupid loser, what does that say for you? Work hard to find ways that encourage and offer solutions rather than attacking the person who represents half of your marriage and home. By treating each other with respect and kindness, you are working to improve each other as people.