How to Make Up with a Girl in Six Steps
by How does one end an argument satisfactorily when emotional ties are at stake? Do you want to make up with her, or just move along and call it quits? Whether dating or married, arguments happen, and you can’t resolve it the same way as you would with your mates. She’s your mate, that’s different.
So, you had a fight and are in the proverbial doghouse. Was it your fault? Maybe. Was it her fault? Maybe. Does it matter? No, not really, not in the end. If you want to sleep under the covers with her warm body next to you, you are going to have to work it out. Here’s some tips.
- Nothing is ever solved through silence except naptime. If your goal is to make things right with your significant other, you HAVE TO TALK TO HER. Yep, you gotta share those feelings. You might even be the one who has to start the conversation. An opening line might be: “Honey, can we talk?” This lets her know that you want to communicate and is hard to misconstrue for an argument, unless she is spoiling for a fight. She might be. Don’t say “Honey, what’s wrong?” This is not a good opener, because you should already know what’s wrong. I know that you might not know, but she will expect you to know, ya know?
- Once you have initiated conversation Listen to Her. Don’t interrupt. Don’t try to tell her she’s wrong till she runs out of steam, and then don’t. Most women will just appreciate you listening. And don’t be thinking about hockey while she’s talking, because there might be a quiz later. When she asks “But, what do you think about next Sunday?”, you had better know what she’s talking about.
- Don’t let the sun set on an argument. Try to resolve things before you both get to ‘sleep on it.’ While things might look brighter for you in the morning, I can almost guarantee that they won’t for her. She will think about what happened. She will look at everything that was said and analyze it. Twice. Things will be worse in the morning as she imagines every possible meaning to even the smallest things that were said. Example? Okay.
You: “Honey, I just don’t want to talk about it right now, okay?” (Man, I just want to get a beer and relax for five minutes. If she thinks about it logically, I’m sure she will come round.)
Her: “Okay.” (My God. I can’t believe that just happened. Why doesn’t he want to talk? We really need to resolve this issue about the couch. Why doesn’t he want to talk? Does he not want to be around me? Doesn’t he want me? Oh, God, I knew it! It’s those five pounds I gained! It shouldn’t matter to him, he should love me for who I am! That bastard! Oh, if he doesn’t want to talk, fine! We won’t talk! See how he likes not talking! He can talk to the fridge with those god-awful potato chips I hate! Where are my keys, I’m going to my sister’s.) And then all you know is that she’s knocking over the mail box in her hurry to get out of the drive way.
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Post CommentBetty Carew
On May 7, 2009 at 6:42 am
Annie I love your style of writing it’s excellent, it is so down to earth and matter of fact.Excellent write and read very entertaining. Some important information in here.
postpunkpixie
On May 7, 2009 at 7:44 am
If I had a boyfriend, I’d be pointing him at these articles. Great work. As yaffel said, you have a great down to eart and honest style in these.
Christine Ramsay
On May 7, 2009 at 7:54 am
A very good article. The advice is excellent.
Christine
Joe Dorish
On May 7, 2009 at 11:25 am
A big hug usually helps for me. Listen to Her is great advice.
OhSugar
On May 7, 2009 at 1:34 pm
Great piece with great advice for making up with girlfriend. Will you be writing one for making up with your guy?
JerryKBradford
On May 7, 2009 at 2:00 pm
However, if it is your fault, man-up and apologize, and then try to make it up to her. A sign of being a man is taking responsibilty for yourself and the things you do. Man-up.
Ouch….It seems I was wrong. Women know better what makes man than does a oddly enough, man. Admitting one is wrong is masculine, it is righteous, good, and decent. That rule applies to both genders equally.
A spoon full of sugar and all that. If offering advice to the opposite sex you may want to consider holstering your own gender based issues. Consider the male ego, as fragile as it may be at times, and always respect either gender’s right to be treated with dignity and decency.
Your heart is in the right place with this piece, and there is much wisdom in what you have written. However if you take my advice, you will reach a broader audience of reader with your helpful words.
J.
rajeev bhargava
On May 7, 2009 at 3:44 pm
that was a really enjoyable and beautiful script with lots of great tips. thanks for sharing! i loved reading it.
Bullwinkle Muse
On May 7, 2009 at 5:49 pm
So nicely done again, Annie. I like this series of articles.
Ruby Hawk
On May 7, 2009 at 8:52 pm
Good down to earth advise, well done.
Daisy Peasblossom
On May 7, 2009 at 10:01 pm
Some good points here. Let me add: If you are the female half of an argument, remember that a lot of guys need time to cool down before they are ready to talk. That may, indeed, mean waiting till in the morning. With some guys, it may mean waiting a month. No matter what gender you are, bolting out the drive over the top of the mailbox is not appropriate communication. Take a walk if you need to, but don’t slam the door on the way out. Cool down your own self and think about what started the argument in the first place. Are you really arguing about the couch? Or is the issue really something else? Good article; but I kind of agree with Jerry that it is a little gender biased.
skylite
On May 7, 2009 at 10:08 pm
Great advivce and well written !
Joie Schmidt
On May 7, 2009 at 11:48 pm
Nice article – - no matter what if it’s a guy or girl who needs making up with – - kindness, compassion, understanding and a genuine desire to resolve the issue for the betterment of the relationship is always key*
Blessings.
Sincerely,
-Liane Schmidt.
Kate Smedley
On May 8, 2009 at 2:10 am
Another great article on relationships with down to earth, straight talking advice, I like it!
Yovita Siswati
On May 8, 2009 at 7:05 am
Good advise for boys!
Anne McNew
On May 8, 2009 at 8:48 am
You have shared a very straight forward thought in you.
Nice share.
frenzy750
On May 8, 2009 at 5:09 pm
nice article
LOVELYHONEY
On May 9, 2009 at 1:58 pm
communication between any two is a must
Bo Russo
On May 26, 2009 at 4:27 pm
What? I wasn’t listening,I was ruffling the bag of chips.Great article Annie,down to earth.I think there should be a guide book for women like an auto repair manual,that way we would be able to figure you ladies out.Until you change the rules again……..
I’ll never learn.
hfj
On June 2, 2009 at 10:10 am
Good article. Even though i agree with you on this subject, there is still this issue with male pride. It’s hard for us men to admit we are wrong, and even harder to say we’re sorry. Sometimes you just have to swallow your pride and beg for forgiveness or have a very comfortable couch. Well done friend.
AyeJaye
On January 16, 2012 at 7:54 am
what ALL you guys did wrong is one simple mistake. You didnt accept you made mistakes as well. if you simply say \”ok babey, i love you\” shes gonna think, \”he dont care, all he wants is a relationship to show off in front of his mates\” but if you say somthing ike \”babey, im sorry for —– and i wish i coud take it back. i did those things because ———- and i diddnt mean to hurt you. i was trying to get ——- to stop hurting you, but now i see it reflects on you and im sorry\” she will automaticly think \”my god, he loves me truly, and hes an honest man, i think i will keep him\” cause at the end of the day, when a woman hear \”i love you\” she thinks you MEAN it. but if you just say \”luv ya\’s\” then shes not gonna beeive you and think that you dont have an interest in her anymore.