How to Make Your Partner Feel Loved

by njujo2009 in Relationships, July 23, 2009

Making your partner in relationship feel loved is daunting task. The article tries to explore how this can be possible.

More often, the genesis of any relationship is based on some form of love, be it parental, mutual, romantic. It is however not clear how the other party can without doubt know that he/she is loved. It is not very clear what again amounts to love among all those in a relationship.

Those in a relationship rely on the ’small things’ that are done to suggest that the other person loves them. If we were able to clearly define what can be done to expressly show love, then relationships would endure for ever and divorces would be history. Since this is a major task, let us focus on what one can do to make the other person feel that he/she loved. But before we begin exploring the tips, its important to consider love not entirely as a feeling but also a conscious decision. That love has to it the feelings that make you hold the other partner with highest regard, but also a conscious decision that makes you choose one over the other. If you take this to be the case consider doing the following to make your partner feel loved:

Determine the sum of feelings you have for partner: It is very difficult to know how one feels. We rely on the five senses to determine what we feel. However, these can only apply in limited scope in a relationship. First determine what feelings to express-such as appreciation, high esteem, special consideration with the aim that when they are expressed the other party will feel loved.
Determine how your partner enjoys the feelings you have identified: Love is given and received. The receiver has to reciprocate the feelings that the other party tries to display. For this reciprocation to happen, both parties must have some common ground. To make the other person feel loved, strive to determine this common ground. For instance if a bouquet of flowers is held with high esteem by one party, the other party trying to show love must know this and hence buy a bouquet of flowers. If one party will feel that he/she is held in high esteem when she is taken out for a dinner, the person trying to show love could strive to take her/him out for dinner. The importance of this step though is to ensure that whatever one does, it is received well and is interpreted as intended and as a sign of love.
Determine your limits: The biggest disappointment in relationships has to do with unmet expectations, hopes and aspirations. However to a great extent they are psychologically built. Unmet expectations are as a result of expressions that do not give room for limits. When the person showing love does not set limits, the other party expects with an open mind-to them limit does not apply. For instance if the person appreciates a bouquet of flowers as we noted, it is important to set the limit of its cost that you can afford, the frequency you can offer, and the type of the flowers you can get. The person to whom these gifts are intended learns to appreciate anything offered no matter the quantity. This gives rooms for improvement. As the limits are gradually increased they are not expected but come as a matter of sacrifice which can go a long way to make the other person feel loved.
Enable your partner give your actions the necessary meaning: Since we noted that love is given and received, the next most important task to achieve the goal of making your partner feel loved is make the other person to apportion the intended meaning to the actions that aim to bring out these feelings of love. Thus as you strive to achieve your goal, focus also on the likely meaning on your actions. For instance, the timing of any action-time you offer a kiss, body contact, or a physical gift can ether be interpreted as love or not. A gift offered during the time of distress, body contact offered during grief, or dinner during moments of happiness can be construed as shows of love.