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How to Recognize The Signs of a Controlling Partner

Are power and persuasion being used on you? Control is a form of relationship abuse. Learn to spot the signs of a controlling partner.

Are you involved with a controller? If you have an inkling that you are being manipulated, learn how to spot the signs of a controlling partner.

Early Signs of a Controlling Relationship

How did the relationship begin? Were you swept off your feet? If it seemed too good to be true, it probably was. Controllers are self-involved and have shallow emotions; however, you will be showered with gifts and attention and will be told that you are the love of his/her life, in an attempt to snare you. A rational person would take the time to really get to know someone before wanting to spend the rest of his/her life with him or her. Rapid attachment is a sign of someone who can just as easily detach from you. A controller will move in quickly and take the relationship to the next level.

What You’ll Experience With a Controller

A controller will demand much of your time and you will be made to feel that you can never do enough for him or her. Soon, you’ll find that most of your activities have been taken over in some fashion. Either the controller will accompany you or will somehow make it difficult or near impossible for you to engage in activities you formerly enjoyed. There will always be a plausible-sounding reason for this but this is another method of control in a relationship.

A Controlling Partner

Your partner will find some reason to discourage you from spending time with your friends or family. This is designed to cut off your support network. A number of reasons will be used, ranging from how your friends use you or treat you badly to downgrading of family members. This is one of the signs of a controlling partner, who will act to socially isolate you.

Derailment of Self Confidence

Other signs of a controlling relationship are attempts to derail your confidence in yourself. A controller will use either overt or covert methods to chip away at your self-confidence. This may range from making suggestions about your driving or appearance, or comparing your actions to their own, or acting as though the decisions you make are not well thought out. You’ll find yourself feeling as if you can never please your partner. You are made to feel that you just don’t measure up or you are always doing something wrong. Eventually, you feel defensive and as if you are walking on eggshells.

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